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Loss of Projection

How knows what we will become or what she has seen
What are we now, love, pain, scars I'll never reach
Hurt too so it couldn't let me in without this
Where are we going if she's strung to you
And you are taking places here within my soul
Despair
That's what it was called when I was born eight month before
He left with the gun and blood still dripping from his hair
It was mine
I loved that gun so much, your scars are healing back with silver linings
Waiting to be shot, I built it once and thrice again to jack my c**k in heated words
What sort of life is that to take away my own
And are we desperate as my wrists are getting null
And hard with blood
You are not the type to see it, but I will sap
All life between your ribs and crush your heart so that when we are bleeding I am full
And you are had to be remade as I am too full and drained by you to make me new
But what of this
Cocked hammer, hammered c**k, struck barrel on an ivory stock
Seven inches hard as steel because the bullets pierce my skull
And she is there
I drew the trigger on a sheet of paper thin from seeing her mind and yours
You are not mine, not all, not yet, not ever
I will take half your love because that is all there ever was
She owns you, you deny, she calls you, you reply in vain with nevermore
And I am taking half of you and living here in pain
Because those scars cannot be reached or wrought or healed
And there is only half of you to take
She owns the rest
And it was never mine to have as blood begins to flow and my wrists begin to crack
For the blood is finally gone and dried, the blood that I drew cold
That you could never touch with half your love in tow
What are we then with her in me and taking more each day
Only all that we can be and taking more with every day

Amendmentation to the world we know
Perhaps she is I and you to me are what I was to you if I were she
This game is getting harder still but then I start to see
That you are you and I to she and she to you as well
But in another likened case I am you in cell
For she is still the same and you are something I ignored
Because I was seeing you as you and me as you and hating you for I
So we begin again that she is I and you to me are what I was before
I hate myself for hating her so much that I explore
Her every move beyond your own or mine if I was you
But now my argument is null and I must start anew
She sees to much of me as I
And you see to that too
But can I really anger me for you as you are you
You want to share the world you see
Even if with me
To the one that started changing it
The one of one of three
Because that is the world you knew
You saw her happy then
So now you wish she'd come around
So she'd be happy in your dress
No, you never truly broke apart and I am here instead
But all my hatred turns around
For she is in my head
I am that which you were sued for being as accused
And all you are is still in love as love is for a friend
Dally not on my misuse of dally and of love
For if its love and that is love and this is love as well
I guess its love of different types that make you fall for hell
Maybe maybe too absurd I leave you to your peace
And love the love that we can share in our now more private space
With nothing to accuse you of
And only me to hate