Early yesterday morning, I had a complete and total emotional breakdown, which have seemed to get more and more frequent recently. A few of you read my journal entry from earlier, or was it last night... Either way, it didn't look pretty. I set that entry to private because no one else needed to read it. It takes a lot for me to break down to that level, seriously, I have to lose all my nerve in order to accomplish it. My head was going in a million different directions and thinking a million different things when I laid it down last night.
I was seriously going to just leave for the rest of this week, then school would start, and I could be gone longer, and longer, and then maybe I could just... Get away from it. But I really can't. Being gone for last night and all day today just made things so much harder on me.
I was so selfish, so insincere, not thinking about how he felt, why he says what he says. I am nothing but a child... I should have really thought more. But what's done is done. I said there would be consequences, I'm still ready to take them.
So now, I'm left with that lingering question in my head: What now? I'll apologize profusely of course, and if he keeps me around I'll behave myself and stop acting up and being ridiculous.
I don't really have much to say...
Now Playing: Overboard - Poets of the Fall
I see you crying and it rains,
washing away the bad days,
washing away the pain loss brings...
And then you smile though it aches,
cos you don't believe in mistakes,
just that we made a mess of things...
When the deal that you made with love is now a one way street,
a one way street, and you feel you'll go overboard,
cause you're incomplete, incomplete.
You're not afraid to rely,
on any way you can try,
to learn to make some sense of things.
And the way you say we'll get by,
with a little laugh we can fly,
you know the measure of hope that brings.
When the deal that you made with love is just a one way street,
a one way street, and you feel you'll go overboard,
cause you're incomplete, incomplete.
I hear you laughing like a child,
instead of choking all riled,
instead of staring at shortcomings, yeah.
Just like the rain when you cried,
washed all the stains of false pride,
you'll learn to make the best of things.
Have a little more of not enough,
More of what is less but isn't love,
Little of the same you're dreaming of,
That's enough, that's enough.
When the deal that you made with love is now a one way street,
a one way street, and you feel you'll go overboard,
cause you're incomplete, incomplete.
When the deal that you made with love is just a one way street,
a one way street, and you feel you'll go overboard,
cause you are incomplete, incomplete.
I was seriously going to just leave for the rest of this week, then school would start, and I could be gone longer, and longer, and then maybe I could just... Get away from it. But I really can't. Being gone for last night and all day today just made things so much harder on me.
I was so selfish, so insincere, not thinking about how he felt, why he says what he says. I am nothing but a child... I should have really thought more. But what's done is done. I said there would be consequences, I'm still ready to take them.
So now, I'm left with that lingering question in my head: What now? I'll apologize profusely of course, and if he keeps me around I'll behave myself and stop acting up and being ridiculous.
I don't really have much to say...
Now Playing: Overboard - Poets of the Fall
I see you crying and it rains,
washing away the bad days,
washing away the pain loss brings...
And then you smile though it aches,
cos you don't believe in mistakes,
just that we made a mess of things...
When the deal that you made with love is now a one way street,
a one way street, and you feel you'll go overboard,
cause you're incomplete, incomplete.
You're not afraid to rely,
on any way you can try,
to learn to make some sense of things.
And the way you say we'll get by,
with a little laugh we can fly,
you know the measure of hope that brings.
When the deal that you made with love is just a one way street,
a one way street, and you feel you'll go overboard,
cause you're incomplete, incomplete.
I hear you laughing like a child,
instead of choking all riled,
instead of staring at shortcomings, yeah.
Just like the rain when you cried,
washed all the stains of false pride,
you'll learn to make the best of things.
Have a little more of not enough,
More of what is less but isn't love,
Little of the same you're dreaming of,
That's enough, that's enough.
When the deal that you made with love is now a one way street,
a one way street, and you feel you'll go overboard,
cause you're incomplete, incomplete.
When the deal that you made with love is just a one way street,
a one way street, and you feel you'll go overboard,
cause you are incomplete, incomplete.
