This line has been stuck in my head for the past day. "I see the man, dying in the spotlight, carving out his heart, blood on his guitar."
What significance does it hold if it's still lingering on the edges of my fantasies? Or is it just a song that decided to become stuck to eagerly to my mind? I'm thinking mostly the second.
*sigh* I was thinking today. About that senior who killed himself. I keep trying to put myself into that position; that malevolent, familiar position that I've stood in before. Would I have chickened out again like the times I have before? Or would I have done it like he did, so selfishly killing not only himself, but his close friends and family- they've all died on the inside.
God give him good rest... I wondered, still wonder, what it's like to die, what heaven is like (granted that I get in there- but I know that He will be kind enough to forgive the small sins I have committed). What the darkness is like. But I've found a meaning to life, so I have no reason to think of it as much as I used to.
I love my life as it is. My best friends- Kelcie, Erika, Eamonn, Sarah, Karolyn, Carlos, Tommy, Alex- they're the closest thing I have to family. My family.. Mom. She's so clueless. Dad doesn't care, and neither do my brothers. Well. They have good intentions, I just don't think that they really care. So I rely on my "family" to keep me happy- and my own actions.
But the question still lingers. Will I be that man, dying for all to see when I just want them to see my feelings?
 XxFragmented_RealityxX · Wed Oct 28, 2009 @ 02:28am · 0 Comments |
