Diary,
I am talking to Pete again. I hope he still doesn't hate me/disapprove of me. I never meant to hurt him, but its a great relief to have him back. I don't feel so empty anymore. Pete was there when Youssef was not. So its hard to say goodbye to the person who kept you whole when your world fell apart. Pete wants to get back "together" and wants me to be his hunny. All I can think about at the time is what pain and torture might happen if I go ahead with that. Not only for me, but for Youssef and for Pete. I love Youssef so much, but Pete can't get out of my head. Im not IN love with him, but I do love him. Youssef Im in love with. I will always love Youssef more, but with the pain of Youssef away from me, it feels like Pete fills that void. I don't want to go back to Pete. I really don't because I love Youssef. But a voice in my head keeps telling me to go to him. I wont listen to the voice tho. I want Youssef in my life. Pete is just a friend. Nothing more, and nothing less. I hope that someday, we can forget each other and forget all the pain we've caused one another.
Until tomorrow beckons,
Farewell~
NakatamiHigurashi Community Member 
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