Anyway, since I haven't been ranting as much as I usually do, I decided to copy an English paper I wrote explaining my feelings on the subject. English is much easier when you keep the homework from being work. If only I could make that work with Government homework...
So here's the paper, and try not to be offended, since I exaggerated a lot (or as we say in English class, I made heavy use of hyperbole).
"Grrr... It's happening again. The focus of English turns to poetry.
"POETRY! Pardon my language. I tend to use that word as a curse, except I do not use it as casually as seasoned cussers might.
"I detest poetry. It depends heavily on reading between the lines, since the poet, who will be called a genius anyway, is incapable of expressing himself clearly. The only remotely respectable poem, in my stunningly accurate opinion, is one that says what it has been written to say. Symbolism is one thing, but symbolism on its own is meaningless and therefore worthless. By having a main focus along with powerful symbolic imagery, great work can be produced. Symbolism without substance is incomprehensible gibberish that will doubtlessly be declared brilliant, and so countless interpretations will be drawn from it. None of the interpretations will ever be confirmed or denied by the poet, since he obviously never had any idea what the poem meant in the first place. If he did, he might have bothered to at least hint at his real meaning. Apparently, that is too much to ask. Nowadays, poets do not even bother rhyming, making the "art" of randomly combining pretty-sounding words their only required skill. Since that infernal poetry has become so effortless, any burned-out hobo with glimmerings of literacy can become a poet by writing something as pathetic as this:
"'Salamander chicken feed.
Rainbows beautify the chipmunk.
Slap the intestine.
All-expenses-paid two-week cruise to Maui
I want the donuts.
Love is cool and junk.'
Rainbows beautify the chipmunk.
Slap the intestine.
All-expenses-paid two-week cruise to Maui
I want the donuts.
Love is cool and junk.'
"Even worse is the interpretation, which would probably be something along the lines of this:
"'Clearly the relationship (however unlikely) between reptiles and food reflects the incomprehensibility of life at its rawest. In the second line, the pristine qualities of a naturally occuring spectrum and small furry woodland rodents show the speaker's desire to show that man has no business interfering with nature. Lines three through five reflect the poet's poverty-stricken hunger and love of geography. The poem closes as all poems should: with love, which is all we need according to Paul McCartney, or possibly John Lennon.'
"The only good poem is a limerick. For the record, I meant the clean ones."
Well, that was my assigned English journal entry for the week of January 12.
Or something like that.
