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How to Survive in the World of DBZ
- A survival guide

Rule #1. Every episode begins with an introduction of what happened ‘last time on Dragonball Z’

Rule #2. No one really listens to Kami, no matter how good his idea or true his statement may be

Rule #3. Sayians don’t wear pink

Rule #4. If Vegeta tells you your name is Kakorot – your name is Kakorot.

Rule #5. It is not that Krillen just has a round face and no hair…Krillen has no Nose.

Rule #6. It is impossible to beat an enemy without a long and difficult struggle where several minor characters may die.

Rule #7. Never pick up the bill for Goku at a restaurant.

Rule #8. Yamcha was once a main character however by the time of the Trunks saga he is reduced to merely being a catalyst for Vegeta and Bulma to get together.

Rule #9. There is always a higher level of power to ascend to just in time.

Rule #10. Never start a conversation with Chichi about today’s education systems. It will last alllllll week.

Rule #11. Never ask Master Roshi for ‘reading material’ he only has those ‘dirty’ magazines.

Rule #12. If you are ever asked to do an appearance on DBZ don’t do it. You are going to be that guy that Cell absorbs during the filler scene.

Rule #13. Never come between a Sayian and their meal. (See rule#7)

Rule #14. Never come between Chichi and Gohan’s studying.

Rule #15. Always expect the enemy to have a second, third and fourth form. It may be best to just kill them off quickly before they can achieve that next level. Glory is only good if you’re alive.

Rule #16. If you are a villain – buy Goku off with food and hope he doesn’t notice your evil plot.

Rule #17. Always be polite to Koran. He is the one who grows the sensu beans after all.

Rule #18. Beware upsetting the Dragon; you don’t know when the last time he ate is.

Rule #19. Bulma’s hair style does not change. It is a life form of its own and merely mutates as the show goes on. (This explains that crazy hairstyle of hers when Mari Trunks arrives)

Rule #20. If you are an attractive young woman at a bar and a man in large glasses or a pig offers you a drink – refuse it. Don’t worry about being mean, just don’t drink it. Ruffies exist in the world of DBZ too and we all know a cretin Master and pig that might just be tempted enough to use them.

Rule #21. Don’t kill any of Gohan’s friends. It will shorten your life span – guaranteed.

Rule #22. If you have a question ask Gohan or Kami.

Rule #23. If you have a death wish mock Vegeta for wearing pink…

Rule #24. If you train with a Namek he may offer you a cookie, but if you give a Namek a cookie…

Rule #25. The only company that makes Sayian grade condoms is a small company owned by CC Corp called ‘Brief Covers’. You may find them at most convenient stores…

Rule #26. Don’t let Chichi find you buying ‘Brief Covers’…she can be protective of her sons…

Rule #27. Never offer to help #18 “change” her oil.

Rule #28. When someone lands in front of your car – don’t honk at them – or they will rip out the engine of your car and kill you.

Rule #29. You know it’s a villain when it knows your name and you have never met them before.

Rule #30. When someone comes from the future and tell you of an impending doom – ask for a picture of the enemy…Goku.

Rule #31. Oolong does not like bacon. He does however eat spam.

Rule #32. Do not call Trunk’s hair ‘pink’. The correct color is ‘lavender’; you may have to adjust your TV.

Rule #33. Chaozu, may look like a creepy little pokemon thing…but he is actually an android created to replace Tien’s baby brother. So it is suggested to hold all such comments to yourself…incase olde three eyes hears you

Rule #34. Never go to the bathroom while dinning with Goku. Your food will not be there when you return.

Rule #35. The Look Out is a holy place. This means that the bedrooms in it should NOT be used for secret rendezvous!

Rule #36. If you ever ‘just happen’ to run into one of your favorite DBZ character, DO NOT attack them with kisses. Just because you know who they are – doesn’t mean they know or care who you are. In stead set up a situation in which you need them to be brave and rescue you…then you may shower them with gratitude…

Rule #37. It is necessary when becoming a super Sayian to sound like you are preparing for preparation H.

Rule #38. Chichi is stronger than Goku. She just lets him think he is the strongest in the universe.

Rule #39. No one really knows if Piccolo is asexual for sure or not…

Rule #40. There is no disputing of rule #39.

Rule #41. Android #18 is closer to being a cyborg than an android…

Rule #42. Marron – Krillen’s ex girlfriend is really a genius who owns the only rival of the CC Corp.