Calm. It was so quiet. Honestly that scared me more than when his huge form actually approached me with that horrible angry face. I knew this was the calm before the storm… the real storm. Something bad was going to happen, and I was going to get that much closer to the approaching death. It was scary to think what I usually loved so much, peace and quiet, was suddenly turned into something I feared. Something I sat through trying to figure out what he could possibly do to me to make my life that much scarier. That much more horrible. That much more deadly. I felt like I was just awaiting for him to find some reason to hurt me again. It was the most terrible feeling I knew of.
Well it was second honestly. The first was the thought that he had J.J somewhere far from me doing something to her. It was possible. There were times he was gone so long he could have been with her. He could have been beating her using me as a weapon against her. He could have been hurting her worse than me. I mean I had an infinite knowledge of the bible. She had a small recollection of what little she learned in Sunday school. If he did have her she was in much worse shape than I was, and… that scared me almost out of my wits.
I was trying to envision both of us safe in each other arms when all of a sudden I heard, “No. NO!” I looked over to him just as he banged on the desk. “They’re trying to silence my message.” I looked at the screen and realized Garcia had sent out a message saying that the video he was sending out was a virus.
What a smart girl. I was going to have to thank her for that one day. If I got out of this I would have to thank all of them, but I made a mental note to thank her especially. I knew this would be hard on her. We were her ‘babies’ and after he showed the video after he beat me I knew she was going to be devastated. Garcia hated to see any of us in pain. She hated to see anyone in pain actually.
“I can’t control what they do. I’m not with them. I’m with you.” I pointed out almost fearfully. I was scared what he was going to do. I mean he wasn’t Rafael other wise I knew he would have played another round of Russian Roulette with me. No. It was Charles.
“Really?” He asked turning to the computer and pulling something up. Suddenly Gideon’s message was replaying. He played it all the way through, turned of the computer screens, and then walked over to me. “Do you think you can defy me?”
“I don’t know what he’s talking about.” I denied. In fact I did know what he was talking about. He was talking about me keeping strong until they got here. Gideon and I both knew with me chained down there was absolulty nothing I could do, but keep him at bay.
“You’re a liar!” He declared looking down at me angrily.
I looked up at him terrified. I didn’t know what to say. I mean what do I say? I could say I’m not a liar, but then he would strike me for lying again. It would be no use. He was already convinced that I was a liar. There was no way to get that thought out of his head. I wished so much there was. My life would be so much easier if I just had some supernatural influence to just make a thought in an Unsub’s head just… disappear like smoke in a home after a fire.
He looked like he realized something. Then he quickly, so I couldn’t defend myself, pulled up my sleeve and looked at the needle marks his other personality had put in me. “You’re pitiful. Just like my son.” He muttered.
I started to softly cry. Okay! I know! It sounds wimpy! But you look at my situation! You get beaten on the foot with a stick, drugged, and played Russian roulette and tell me if you’re not crying from fear of what’s coming next. Next time you go through all of that and don’t cry let me know. Then I’ll let you have the say on whether I was a wimp or not.
He walked over to the camera and turned it on. “This ends now confess your sins.”
I didn’t know what to say! I panicked! For a split second my brain didn’t function. It just stopped processing anything. All it knew was something terrible was about to happen, and it couldn’t do anything.
Suddenly, what felt like, an iron fist came down on my face. It felt like all of the bones in my face imploded and my neurons went crazy with pain. My left eye started to water from the impact and force of his gigantic fist. “Confess!” He yelled.
“I haven’t done anything!” I replied as I started to weep. His strikes were ten times more painful than the football players on the football team of the high school I went to. I felt like completely falling apart at the seams at that moment.
He hit me again with even more force than he had last time making me wish I would die already. I would much rather die than have to go through all this pain.
“Tobias, help me!” I begged hoping somewhere deep inside Tobias would do something to make my pain stop. Anything would have helped at that moment.
“He can’t help you he’s weak. Confess!”
“Tobias..” I started again.
He slapped me again making me feel a terrible stinging on my right cheek causing it to hurt almost as much as my left one which he had punched twice already. He grabbed my long hair and tilted my head back to hear him whisper, “Confess your sins.”
“No.” I said so softly I swore he would never hear me.
Obviously he did hear me, because the made this awful angry sounding noise and tipped my chair over.
Suddenly everything went white, but I felt my body jerking up and down. I felt the pain of my back slamming on the wood over and over. I felt the pain of my head hitting the floor over and over again, and then… it stopped. The last thing I heard was, “That’s the devil vacating your body.”
As I have addressed I have no religion, because no evidence of any of them. Well other than evidence of famous figures like: Buddha, Jesus, and Peter, but no proof a god himself exists. So when I found myself in what felt like purgatory I found myself amused. I mean to think that no religion exists then find out you’re in purgatory makes you feel… weird. I sat there for a moment looking… or what felt like looking up… or was it down? I couldn’t tell. It was like I was in the middle of an empty off white area where I couldn’t tell if I was moving, and if I was which way I was looking. I closed my eyes and thought of something peaceful. Death wasn’t so bad… or so it felt. I mean an eternity like this could be miserable, but for a moment death was amazing.
Suddenly I felt pressure on my chest. “No.” I heard myself whisper, but I couldn’t feel my lips move against each other as the word softly came out in barely a breath. “Please don’t. Let me die.” I begged who ever was reviving me. I didn’t want to live. I just… I wanted to stay here forever. But soon my stupid body forced me to take a deep breath in. As I did so I suddenly saw a clue to where we were. I saw tombstones and took a leap in thought and decided we were in a cemetery.
“You came back to life.” I heard him say almost softly.
I soon realized it was the more peaceful of the two violent personalities. “Raphael.” I whispered.
“It can only be one of two reasons.” He said skeptically.
“I was given CPR.” I pointed out trying to crack the first joke I had in days.
“There are no accidents. How many members are on your team?” He asked looking down at me curiously. It was as if he ignored my joke entirely.
“Seven.” I said in question.
“The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first followed hell and fire mixed with blood, and they were thrown to the earth.” He said and sat my chair up. I braced myself on the edge of the chair to keep from falling. “Tell me who you serve.” He ordered.
“I serve you.” I said quickly hoping to figure out what he was doing. I had a hunch I just hoped my intuition was wrong. Usually it wasn’t wrong. I knew that. When I did have an intuition something was going to end bad or good it usually ended that way. I just… I wished that moment that it was one of those rare times that it was wrong.
“Then choose one to die.” He ordered.
“What?” I asked acting like I was confused.
“Your team members. Choose one to die.” He commanded.
“Kill me.” I begged him. I’d much rather have him hurt me than my team members. They meant too much to too many people. I had my mother and them. No one else would care that there was no more Spencer Matthew Reid on the planet.
“You said you weren’t one of them.” He pointed out.
“I lied.” I admitted waiting on him to finally kill me. I admitted to my sin already. I hoped this would finally end it all.
“Your team has six other members. Tell me who dies.”
I shook my head only a little. “No.”
He pulled out the gun and pointed at me. He turned the cylinder and closed it. “Choose according to God’s word.”
“No.” Now I was thinking of something fast. If I was going to die I was going to die giving them a hint. I finally decided I was going to fight him. I wasn’t going to let Charles and Raphael get away with this. I mathematically figured out how much time I had and then started to think about every conversation I had had lately and every bible verse. Maybe I could use that to my advantage.
He pulled the trigger and it was blank. Hotch I had had a conversation with him about what classic narcissism was. That was against the bible.
“No.”
He pulled the trigger again and it was blank. “Choose.” He ordered again. Okay so what was a verse on cemeteries?
“I won’t do it.”
Again he pulled the trigger and it was a blank. One more blank and then I had to make up my mind. A verse! What was the verse I needed?! “Life is a choice.” He said.
“No.” I said again. Finally I got it!
Again it was blank. It was time to make up my mind. “Choose.”
I waited a moment to make it looked like I was panicked and then I said, “I choose Aaron Hotchner. He’s your classic narcissist. He thinks he’s better than everyone on the team. Genesis twenty- three: four, ‘Let him not deceive himself in trust, emptiness, vanity, falseness, and futility. For shall be his recompense.” In fact I had actually quoted Job 15: 31.
He sot the gun and it was a real bullet. I flinched as the loud sound went off. He opened the cylinder and dropped the empty shell casing. Then he showed me the new bullet, “For god’s will.” He put the bullet in the gun and turned the cylinder and closed it.
I watched as he turned to the computers. “It’s not time. I’ll wait until later.” He then left the place.
As I sat there I couldn’t believe my luck. I mean… who gets lucky enough to have that much time to that entire plan out in their head? I took a deep breath to try to keep myself from over reacting to everything.
I was trying to relax completely when Tobias walked in with wood and he was himself. He got some water in a small cup. He walked over to me. He started to give me some water.
“Tobias, hey.” I said softly glad he was there instead of the others. I was so grateful at least one of the personalities had some type of humanity in them. Tobias was the only reason I was alive at that very moment.
“Hey, now drink.” He said just as softly as if we were friends.
I took another sip, and then said, “Thank you. You saved my life.” I smiled gratefully at him.
After a small silence her said, “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” I asked confused and worried.
“He’ll win in the end.” He seemed to look… defeated. It was as if he felt like there was absolutely nothing he could do. This, in all honesty, was true.
“Tobias I need to know something that’s important. Are we in a commentary?” I asked hopeful.
He nodded.
I smiled and nodded to myself rejoicing inside.
“I used to come here to get high.” He started.
I was off in my own little world rejoicing that I might just live. I might just survive. “I was right.”
“No one bothers you here. I never told anyone about it.” He said and injected me.
Suddenly I saw I was eighteen again. I had two men from the mental health facility near by.
“What are these men doing here?” She asked looking at the bulky men.
“They’re from the hospital. They’re here to help.”
“I don’t need help.” She started to shake her head. She knew she was lying. She needed help. Honestly it was getting so bad she sometimes locked me out of my own house, because she thought I was the government or something to come and get her. “You can’t be here without permission. Tell them Spencer.” She said looking back at her books. Little did she know that the one man that she thought would help her would hurt her.
“I called them.” I admitted trying to keep eye contact with her. That was hard considering I felt like I deserved to burn in hell for letting this happen to her. I felt so guilty for not helping her out.
She looked up at me wounded. “Spencer.”
“I’m doing this for you.” I said with a dry throat caused by the night before. I had cried all that night feeling terrible for seeking them out. I felt terrible because I couldn’t help her. I felt terrible, because I had to rip her from her home.
“This isn’t legal.” She shook her head.
“Your son is eighteen ma’am. He can act in your welfare.” The big chocolate colored man said.
“You need help.” I admitted looking down at her feeling helpless.
She started to cry making me feel even worse, “I want to stay here.”
“I’m sorry.” I whispered hoping that would make it all better. I knew it didn’t, but… I could just… hope.
The doctors started to approach her.
“Please these are my things. This is my life.” She practically begged them. They ignored her plea and helped her out of her chair.
“I’m sorry.” I said again feeling it necessary to say.
“Spencer, please don’t do this to me.” She begged crying.
I started to cry to myself as the delusion started to fade. “I’m sorry.” I said asleep. “I’m so sorry.” I said as I slowly awoke.
“What are you sorry for boy?” Charles asked looking down at me scornfully.
“I sent her away.” I admitted not wanting to look at his face.
“Who?” He asked. It seemed like such a simple question, but it mattered so much. If I had said my friend it wouldn’t have mattered.
“My mom.” I licked my lips unconsciously. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t help her.” I admitted.
“Is that a confession?” He asked sounding almost hopeful. It seemed almost awful to me that someone would look forward to killing someone. It was like he didn’t realize the toll he caused. He didn’t realized how much harm he had caused already.
Suddenly it hit me. What if my team was looking for me? It would be easier to find me in the actual cemetery and not in here. I had to be in the cemetery. I nodded. “I confess.”
“You know your bible. Exodus 21:17.” He pointed out.
I took a deep breath. “And he that curseth his father… or his mother shall surely be put to death.” I repeated what I memorized.
Charles walked over to me. He unchained my dirty and weak hands. It felt like an incredibly enormous weight was lifted off of my hands. It was magnificent and freeing. “Grab shovel.” He instructed me.
I glanced around and unhurriedly hobbled over to a shovel and grabbed one. I then follow him to where he guided me.
“Dig.” He pointed to the ground not so far from a grave. I looked at him with a question on my face. I mean… was he really going to make me defile someone else’s grave?
I got on the ground like he said and started, but I was so weak I couldn’t get much done honestly. Even if I hadn’t been starved for three days, beaten, or any of the other things he did to me I still wouldn’t have been strong enough to do much.
“I’ll bury you alive in there. You need time to think about what you’ve done.” Was I the only one that wondered if at that moment he was repeating the Nazis? He was trying to bury me alive in my own hole that I was digging.
“I know what I’ve done.” My voice croaked as I tried to talk.
“Don’t talk back to me. Dig. What are you stopping for?” He asked.
I continued as he asked. What was good about not being built for real labor was that I didn’t get that much done in a long amount of time. I was built for drinking lots of coffee and figuring out the questions of life. I wasn’t meant to move loads of dirt.
“Dig faster.” He ordered me.
“I’m not strong enough.” I admitted.
“You’re all weak.” He said and took off his coat.
Out not that far from me I started to see flashlight beams not that far from me. I knew it was my team and my heart raced knowing I was near freedom.
“Get out of there.” He ordered me. He saw me looking at the light and turned around to see what I was looking at.
I grabbed the gun out of his coat and pointed it at Charles. This was it. It was the moment I had to decide if killing Raphael and Charles were worth killing Tobias.
He turned to me and pointed the knife he had in his hand at me. “There’s only one bullet in that gun boy.” He said and started to run towards me.
My hands shook as I tried to keep the gun steady when I pulled the trigger. My shot was true and he fell like Goliath. It was a powerful sound to my ears. My head throbbed from the sound of the gun and him hitting the ground. I wanted to cover my ears and ignore the rest of the world.
“Reid!” I heard Gideon yell. I knew he was going to be worried I had been the one shot. I was so glad he was near- by. It gave me that feeling of safety that I hadn’t had in over three days. He was the one man in the world that I considered my father figure since my real sperm donor really wasn’t a father in my eyes. He was a coward. He was a horrible person that left me alone to fend for myself.
I stumbled over to Tobias and moved his knife out of his reach. I hoped that maybe I hadn’t killed him. I hoped that maybe he was just wounded. I never wanted to kill him. Just maim or wound. Never kill.
“You killed him.” Tobias said. He was himself again. Damn it! Why did he have to do this?! Why did he have to be the one personality that I didn’t want to kill? Why did he have to make me doubt the move I had just made? Why did he have to make me feel guilty?
“Tobias.” I said wishing it was any of the other personalities. Any of them would have made it so much better.
“There he is.” I heard Hotch say. Hotch… the man that was powerful when the rest of us were falling apart. The man that I had given the key to my clues was so close.
“Do you think I get to see my mom again?” Tobias asked.
“I’m sorry.” I said softly wishing somehow he could.
Then I saw the life leak out of his eyes. He was dead. My torturer and hero was dead… in the same exact moment.
Then I looked up at the upcoming team. They all put away their guns. “Reid?” Hotch asked helping me up. “You alright?”
I sighed glad he’d realized what I meant. “I knew you’d understand.” I hugged Hotch.
Then I saw the woman that could only be described as a Greek goddess, but so much more beautiful. She looked so worried for me. She looked so concerned, but she was okay physically! He hadn’t got to her! I limped over to her and I heard as we both started to cry.
“I’m so sorry.” She whispered.
“It’s alright. It wasn’t your fault.” I knew it was my fault. I should have told her to split up from me. I should have stayed with her.
Gideon then took me from her. He started to take off with me. “Let’s get you out of here.”
“Can I have a second alone?” I asked him.
He smiled a little and left me alone.
I limped over to Tobias and stole the drug from Tobias. I knew, thanks to him, I needed it more than anything else.
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So I don't own Criminal Minds or these characters. Okay so I want to hear from you guys! What do you want to see, what do you not like, what do you like. Please say something.
oO- Alice Whitlock-Oo Community Member 
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