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Well....this is probably the lowest I've felt in a really long time...

I don't even know what to say, and I feel like crying alot.

My heart was broken today.

A week or so ago, I had been so happy. Zack had made me feel that way, too. He had gone on and on about how he really cared about me and wanted to see me. We planned to go bowling together with his aunt and stuff...But she had to cancel, so neither of us had a ride. Then, suddenly, he just stopped talking to me. He never seemed to be signed on or anything. I checked his myspace...and to my horror, there was this girl who had commented "The past two days have been great." Well, I just ignored it. I've told myself many times that I was willing to share him because we weren't going to be serious or anything...and I figured she could have been a friend too. I clicked her myspace, and Zack was number one on her top eight. I think subconciously, I just wanted to forget I ever saw it, so I ignored that too...

I started to feel pretty bad about it for the next few days though, because the thought was always there, in the back of my mind.

But today, all of the good feelings left in me just crumbled. My neighbors went over to his house today...and they got to meet his girlfriend, because yes, she is real. His one cousin said she was boring and the other said she was weird. The one that said she was weird is definatly mad at Zack, which I appreciate. Also, his aunt, who I find to be a fun and amazing person, scared her away so she left early. She said something to her like "You hurt him, and I'll hurt you back." She got freaked out by that and left a little while after. If it was him and me together, she would have given that speech to him, not me.

Man...I don't know how to feel. I mean, we weren't anything...but I'm mad that he didn't tell me. I woulnd't have cared. I just wish he would have told me instead of totally ignoring me. Oh, and he changed his screen name too, which explains why it seems like he's never on. I half wonder if it's because he want to avoid me...or what...

But normally, at a time like this, I would get mad at myself for being heart broken at all...but this time, I think I won't. I think I'm just going to be sad and mad and all of those feelings...because I really thought he was something....

Well, he's something alright, but not anything good.