Everyone I know... turns into an a** hole... everyone I know turns their back on me... Or I do something wrong and they get mad at me and hate me... I'm sick of it... I'm sick of always being the butt of practical jokes, bullshitting, and everyone else's venting. I'm sick of hearing "lying b***h" and "annoying c**t"... I want it all to go away... i want everything and everyone to just go away. I want the whole world to go to hell and I want everything to just stop for a few minutes... I can't take it anymore... It seems that no one wants me here, where I am... and there's nothing better waiting for me at my parent's house... I want to kill myself... So bad... I want it all to end... I finally want to feel the blade crawl across the one part of my flesh that has always been forbidden for me to cut since day one... I want to feel the blood drip and cry myself dry... I want to die... I want it all to go away... I want what everyone else wants- I want to just disappear from everyone's life and let them live without me happily ever after... I'm sick of people not liking me or wanting me here... If no one wanted me here, why'd they make me in the first place? If after 17 years, all my mother has to say to me is "well they didn't have to put up with you for 17 years!" then maybe... it isn't worth living... maybe it isn't worth being here... I can't answer my friends question when she wants me to explain her existance... I can't say because i love her anymore... because I don't... I can't... but I don't hate her anymore either... and I can't cope with that... So when I cut over it, she got even more mad at me which made me want to cut more... I dunno... I want the whole ******** world to just say "Kill yourself already!" flatout, no being nice about it or no implications... I want them all to say it already... because then no one will be mad at me anymore... i'll do as they say... please... god... please... just make it all stop...
as she falls to her knees, she looks to the sky, holding a knife in her hand... she mouths the words that she's sorry to everyone and slices her wrists wide open... go away... she begs... please... just... go away... she throws the knife at the wall and all the memories of her life pass before her. she hears no laughter and sees no smiles. she is alone in her life and she hears screaming and sees blood... she closes her eyes... i'm sorry... Curt... kavu... damion... tracy... amanda... will you stop being mad at me? please? I'm gone now... I can't hurt you anymore... you can't turn your back on me anymore... are you still mad? I'm sorry... I...
No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong do you go along
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It’s not like we hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
And a kindness from you might have saved his life
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws out the pills a hero is made
No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn’t know he’s a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he’s made
He lives on the edge, he’s old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it’s his right
The choices he makes change a nine year old’s life
-Superchick "Hero"
 Arius Shadow · Tue Oct 10, 2006 @ 05:39am · 1 Comments |
