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Should I, or shouldn't I?
Those that know me well know that I'm anti-everything. Anti-smoking, Anti-drink, and Anti-drugs.
People that agree with me in saying that we're never going to do those things, then turn around and do them hurt me deeply. It makes me extremely angry. Like it was done to hurt me.
i know it wasn't... but i still feel stabbed.
I come from a long-long-long line of alcoholics, and I don't want to end up like the rest of them. My dad just recently stopped smoking pot because I found it and called him on it. My mom smokes, we all know she does, but on one talks about it. She smokes then covers herself in her perfume to cover the smell, but it makes it smell worse.
I promised myself that I wouldn't do any of that so I wouldn't turn out like them. Now that I'm 21 everyone is trying to get me smashed so they will see what I'm like. I don't want to! It makes me even more irate and it makes me lash out.
Why would these people want to do that to me? Why would they want to hurt me and endanger me in that way? For their amusement? How can I look those people in they eye and call them my friend. My closest friend in the whole world told me he and two other people were going to get me throw up drink weather I liked it or not. To see how happy that made him when he talked about it. *Shakes with anger* why would you wish that upon your best friend?!
My parents know who strongly I feel about this, so for my birthday they went out and bought me a bottle of champagen for me to drink all by myself. Why did they do that!!!
After seeing that i ran to my room and blocked the door then climbed up the the sheets trying to keep myself from crying. My Stephen came in and got into bed with me and held me until I was calm again.
I was angry with them for doing that, but I was even more angry with myself for wanting to taste it. He told me my whole thing is motreation. I don't know though...
I know it goes against everything I believe to try it... i'm so confused!
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Community Member
So don't. And if you just want to try it, make sure that you are in a secure environment, surrounded with people who will take care of you.
I wouldn't let them push me into something I didn't want to do.
Tai, only do it if you really want to.