Need to yell at myself for a bit here. Maybe I'll get motivated if I make myself feel useless enough.
Okay, so I'm actually pretty smart. I know things that other people don't always know, and I apply them well when necessary.
The problem is that I lack motivation in a very bad way.
This was basically my brother's situation. He's smart, but lazy.
So here I am, getting by with C's in at least two of my classes, and not really doing anything to make it better. I mean, I do a little bit, but I don't make an honest, actual effort.
I RATIONALIZE RATHER THAN DO MY HOMEWORK. WHEN I GET THE CHANCE, ALL I DO IS SIT AROUND!! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT! DDDx
I have flute lessons every Sunday, and in between each lesson, I'm supposed to practice at least one hour every day.
BUT HAVE I PRACTICED THE MUSIC I NEED FOR MY LESSON?! NO, I HAVEN'T!! BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT!
The one thing I really bother to work on outside of class is my stuff for Advanced Web Page Design, because it's interesting. And fun. And useful.
I have an essay and a project due on Monday. Granted, they are in the same subject, but it's not hard to do both, because the project is just performing a scene from Huckleberry Finn. The essay, on the other hand, is supposed to be four pages long (double-spaced), and mine is going to be analyzing The Count of Monte Cristo through a psychological perspective. Have I done any work on it? I mean, seriously?
NOOOOO, I HAVEN'T!! And I have a concert and a flute lesson tomorrow! And church! But I haven't bothered to write any of my essay to make up for this fact!
BECAUSE I'M STUPID!!
If I am smote by my parents for not trying my best in school, it will be well-deserved. I am fully capable of getting A's in every single one of my classes! I'M JUST TOO DAMN LAZY!
[/rant]
 xX_Kuroko_Xx · Sun Mar 25, 2007 @ 03:38am · 2 Comments |
