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I think what I am doing is so wrong....but I just can not stop. Once it has begun it can not stop....i feel so dirty from doing it. To even think about doing that to a human, why must I do this? Well I can only think of one good reason that is not childish. Because by doing this to these beings I can make sure that I know what to do when this happens to others. But one question I know is simple, why I started. I started as a way to escape the world and to shun it. Although I could of done it in a more humane way. But it is the most effective by far. I dare not look in the mirror for fear of what I have been driven to for power. It was all for that one person, to defeat them. To push them out of existence would be wonderful. How far have I fallen? When will my life finally be able to be lived to the way it should.....I know I'm not doing evil because of who I'm doing it to. They are the villagers that originally helped me become so wicked. And all for their damn war! I want them all to go away. I can not stand the fact that I was made to destroy instead of create. I mean they even took that away when i was young. I guess they must of really hated me to destroy my ability to do the one act that would in some sense redeem my self from so much. To be able to raise a good one to possibly weight out my evil. But oh well, I will find something else to suffice. I really really don't want to do this any more but it is all for me getting the power I need to become alive, or to die and be able to sleep in peace. Either way I am going to be at peace, but I'd rather be alive to atone for what I have done in this world.

Now it is finally done, I have the power I need and the I found all the ones in the village that have turned me into what I am and wronged me and made them pay. But I must say, my hands are stained red with all the blood that has been split due to it. But if that is what must be done to clear it all then so be it, finally I am able to make my existence worth it in my eyes. Now to leave this hell and find that one who is the sore on my back.