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emotional stuff.... "I would put poems, but im gonna keep those to myself like i usally do, so im just gonna talk about stuff that makes me sad and stuff..."


l33t m45t3r david
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i want it, but what is being sacrifised...
using some of my money, and my obsession with computers, i was showing mom my dream laptop, state of the art graphics, 2 gig memory, 100 gig hard disk, vista, and a duo core 64 bit CPU. she then showed me this $1500 machine in a flyer, it was on sale for a bit under one grand, she then gave me her bank card and told me to get it. i was so happy. i cried in her arms, she had the most beautiful smile, mother...i am going out to get it tomorrow at about 6 pm, but i overheard her talking on the phone to someone about how she was not sure she can pay the bills...so tomorrow, im not sure im going to buy this machine. weather i do, or i don't, or if she goes out to buy it for me, i told her i did not want it, that we can do better things with that cash..i know it is time, for me to get a real job, help her out, buy my own food, pay my share of rent, im scared, and it takes alot to do that to me. only a few people i can say i love more then life and death. that would be my mom, and one other special person, who means alot to me. what am i too do? well, i will find out in the next 24 hours, gonna write a few poems, and listen to some music, not sure when im going to see Kristina, plus i had to cancel some dinner plans with someone important to me. i thought my life was getting better, but in the last few days, it has been...rather depressing...there is something i need to know, about my father...i want to know, but now is not the time, on next saturday, i am going to get a better job. not for me, but for the people i love. heart




 
 
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