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All i ever wanna do is cry n cry i cant hold in the pain im feelin inside anymore.....cuttin is my way of 4gettin the emotional pain i have n turnin into physical pain which i need.....i wanna die but then i cant leave the ppl in whom i luv....i guess im stuck in this dreadful world in which i dnt completely understand yet.......i try so hard to make ppl happy......when someone needs me im always their......but when i need them im left alone....i put my heart through so much anger, regret, sorrow, and pain, I always wonder if living is just a game....sayin i love u is jus a way of sayin i hate u in the wrds of the other person....im falling apart but i try n try 2 never give up but how the world is against me isnt helpin...when i leave this earth i wonder if ill ever b missed if any1 would notice the girl who is missin....im so tired of ppl tellin me how to run my life....all i want is to b left alone....everyday i go thru fightin, yelling, screaming, and crying....its hard enough to deal with my own problems but for ppl to come to me to help them with theirs is tiring, i see my mom cry one day i see my dad leave the other....i cannot leave this earth yet as i must be here for my younger siblings....they need my help...they cant b on this earth dealing with so much pain n fightin between two ppl who no longer love each other anymore....its war....a war that cannot be stopped,it just continues and continues.......maybe one day it will all end and ill be free to leave as i wish.......i dont want to stay anymore im tired of it all........its to much for me to bare.....everyday my sickness grows.....i no longer feel pain in my wrist as i cut the feelings away it become numb........<br />