• Trapped in a world that goes on.Nothing but a keyboard to occupy me. He no longer talks to me. I knew I shouldn't have told him. The other one left. That wasn't going to last anyway. Tears are trapped behind my eyes struggle to stay hidden. A fake smile is painted on my face when I see the ones that actually care. I guess I don't care for them though. I don't care for anything much anymore. I go about my life routinely. Nothing extraordinary happens anymore. Not since I told him.Him. A name that only he can own. Laughter,loneliness,gentleness, all compacted in his skin. I thought he was ready to love. I was wrong. I knew it. Long distance relationships don't last, of course not. Everyone was right and i was wrong. Again. But what's to worry. He hasn't even answered yet. I don't think so at least. Actions speak louder than words. Is that his case? I wouldn't know. I doubt he does either. Maybe time apart is good. Maybe eternity is better. Yeah, eternity is good. But I don't have a say. It's him that controls me. I have said what I thought, but I don't think he cares. He's not worth my time. Maybe I'm not worth his. Life can't tell me now. Only he can. But nothing's for certain. I may get back to him. I may not. I'm not going to try to speak anymore. If he felt the same way he would start first. Wouldn't he? Shouldn't he? Best friends are meant to stay that way. Nothing more. Maybe less. For him it's nothing more but it's because he 's not willing to. Isn't it? Or am I being skeptical, paranoid and oblivious to the obvious. I couldn't say. Could I. Do I have the power somewhere within me? No, surely not someone like me. What I've been through makes me somewhat of an outcast. Except for with those that don't know. That means everyone. Even my parents. But I thought I could trust him. I guess I couldn't. I don't know. Life is moving to fast. I can't tell which way is up. All I know is that I'm going down, eternally.