• It was everywhere when she slept, surrounding her body, absorbing into her skin, running its deft fingers along her bones, caressing her beating heart, touching and overtaking her mind as it pulled her in farther. The feeling she had gotten was both repulsive and enjoyable; she felt so violated but couldn’t do anything. She wanted more of this feeling, wanted to seep farther into the comfort of the sweet darkness, her soul slowly being consumed. Heart, mind, body and soul… all were soon taken hostage by the darkness. She so desperately wanted a light, someone to pull her from the loving embrace of darkness. Kenshi shivered, it wasn’t right…the Gods chained her to the darkness because she gave into its false lies and she was condemmed when she did not fulfill the role she was born into, so they gave her the role of being Chaos’s vessel. Should she loose control the world could end…she could tip the balance and destroy and create…she was the guardian of death and rebirth. And yet even still she continues to fight, looking for a way to break free, free of her chains, but until that time she could do nothing, just sit there and watch the world go by, killing and fighting, falling into a mindless routine…lost in the darkness where the light can no longer reach.

    ‘There is no salvation for me…’

    With a sigh she opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling of some inn she was at. Dull glassy yellow eyes were shimmering with untold pain, and her skin, which used to be a healthy tanned color was now almost chalk white, and the scars of years of abuse and training were visible. A slight breeze stirred the white curtains, which in the darkened room resembled spirits, but while this would freak out most Kenshi was unaffected. Her hair was still wet, and pooled beneath her like blood, which contrasted to her skin, and the way the darkness conformed itself to her body and the way the blanket had creased itself around her made her seem all the more beautiful. She had finished taking a bath and felt very cold, but she didn’t bother drying her hair or even getting the heavier blanket from the closet. This run down inn she was living in was quite homey, it seemed almost right. The building was shabby, but it held through most of anything. Finally the cold became too much, so she took her mid back length hair and began to towel dry it. This was a world that she lived in. War-torn, fleeting peace, modern yet never changing…why they could even compare their technology to ours and yet they continue to have such a medieval looking world. Or at least, 1930’s looking world. However their were factories, but they didn’t produce pollution, quite the opposite, it produced a chemical to purify the air. But that’s beside the point.

    “Winters here are so much colder then in Japan…” She said softly while shutting the window. “But I’m never going back there…I can run for as long as I want…I’m free here, no one knows about me…”

    That remark caused her to smile, and she quickly pushed back her pain. She might as well not let others know she’s a broken child. After all today was her birthday. But why then didn’t she look her age (she was after all born in 1850)? A demon infused with the blood of an immortal can do that. IT also helped the fact she was the reincarnation of an Angel, one who stood second in command to Lucifer before he was thrown down to hell. Kenshi knew besides God there were others…other gods who used her. He was the only one to give her this new chance…he placed her back to her body when she got killed the very first time. When she awoke, she had no idea a dragon soul was born into her as well…she would find this out much, much later when she was in her hundreds. Walking down the stairs to the empty tavern the redhead walked to the bar, the tender was there still and he smiled that kind smile only an old man could master. It was a smile that made Kenshi think of her father…before she found out what he wanted to do to her. Her mood quickly darkened as she ordered a bottle of Jack. The tender merely smiled and gave her the bottle, leaving her off to her own world. It was not in his right to ask her. With her limited English she wouldn’t have been much of a conversationalist anyway.


    The liquid slid down her throat, burning as it did. The memories of those few years of wondering began to surface…

    ~~**~~

    The sea shimmered in the afternoon’s sun. Clear liquid water a soft blue, the smell of salt pungent on the air. A figure of a woman stood leaning over the railing. Her attire, consisting of a corset with a vest and sash to hold it closed along with a black skirt and some boots, was not the thing to set her apart from other passengers, it was her hair. Bloods color…a maroon or mahogany depending on the lighting. The scent of blood and earth mixed with cherry blossom was a unique scent all on its own. Her amber gold eyes were unfocused. She could sense a Crew member appear beside her, but he said nothing and joined her in her cloud watching. It was a silent trip, until she heard him speak.

    “Are you ok?” His voice was gruff, but it was a friendly tone that caused her to gaze at him and she blinked, before registering he was an English man. She was in a Navy ship. Oh god that’s right.

    “Ah…ano…hai. I am fine. I was just thinking of how beautiful and clear the sky was. It’s nice to see it no clouded by smoke or feel the air run cold with blood and death. To no longer see the blood or the bodies…to escape those fights. The sky is so open and clear…maybe that’s why I’m enamored by it.” Though she was taught English it was not a lot, but she knew enough to talk and get information. Besides now that she had free time she spent more of it studying up on different cultures and languages.

    “Well it’s a shame a pretty woman like you had to see such things.”

    “No one has ever said that.” She blushed faintly and looked down. No one had ever complimented except Katsura…but even that was rare. He never called her beautiful or any pretty thing like that. He just praised her and said he loved her to which she returned fully.

    “Really? I’m surprised no one ever asked you out. You’re a cutie. So were you forced to fight?”

    “I wanted to make my country free of pain…I wanted the weak to be able to live without fear…but I do regret joining. I can’t take back anything I did.” Her eyes became liquid gold as tears pooled before spilling over. “So much death…they all had loved ones and I took that happiness away. All they were doing was fighting for what they believe in.”

    The sailor watched her before placing an arm around her.

    “You are a noble woman. You have a pure heart…you only did what was right. War is necessary for peace to exist. Without things would be to perfect…you cannot have one without the other. Sacrifice a few to save a million of kill a million to save a few. It’s a choice with no real winning situation. You need to accept in stride.” He turned to look at the weeping girl. She couldn’t have been older then 19.

    “But why do we have to suffer?” She looked up at him. Her lover died, the war ended and she was still trying to accept her new life…the new era. He just smiled at her, a fatherly smile. Was this what children saw when they looked at their fathers?

    “Suffering allows us to enjoy the good in life. We have to accept the bad with the good. Surely your parents have told you this.”

    “I have none. I was a slave.” His smile turned to a frown as he pulled her into a warm embrace.

    “It’ll be a month or two before we reach the port.”

    “What is your name?”

    “Ben.”

    “I’m Kenshi.”

    ~~**~~~


    She was working on her 5th bottle. She felt a slight buzz. Maybe she needed to stop. But no, no Kenshi liked the taste and so she ordered some more. Perhaps she would socialize tomorrow. As she looked to the mirror behind the bar she could see her younger self…the killer smile back at her. It made her sick. She quietly stood up and walked outside, she couldn’t stand seeing the truth.

    “I will never rest until I make amends for the lives I’ve taken…but a killer…will always be a killer.”

    “Indeed they will. You can’t deny it that you’re the one who wanted to kill in the first place.”

    “That’s not true. I killed so I wouldn’t be in pain.”

    “But aren’t you in pain even now?”

    Oh how she despised her conscious…her mind was always like that pointing out what she herself did not want. Still in her white thin robe the winter chill began to n** at her. Pale skin became paler, her red lips turning a slight pink, then a purple. The snow was becoming a heavy and steady downfall. But her body it was much to cold to move and she needed warmth. Steam, from beyond the trees caught her attention, and so her shivering body walked to where the source was and an immediate sigh was heard. She felt warm.

    “A hot spring…how unusual,” she said softly for indeed they were common I Japan and Asia but here? The warmth sent shivers from toes to her nose and to her core and through out. As long as she stayed here she would be fine. After all the snow would probably stop by then. Yes…tomorrow she will begin to mingle…for now though the warmth of the hot spring made her mind becomes fuzzy so any will to move was gone. Hopefully someone would find her and take her back. After all she wasn’t that heavy…in fact she looked just a little on the sickly thin side. Then again who but that nice sailor would ever pay her mind??

    As she sat against the base of a giant oak tree she allowed the steam from the hot sprigns lull her into sleep. I was going to be a challenge to move on...but she would trudge through...right?

    ~~**~~
    "Until the die I say you are no longer in my service, you shall no one else..."

    "Of course sir. I wouldn't want to have anyone else!"

    ~~**~~

    A fading memory...and then darkness.