Max

• Artist: Destotim
• Description: This is one of my dreams i was luna the girl in the story and max was my hero? (AKA my bf cory)
  
  
  P.S sorry bout my spelling my key bord messes up alot like if i hit a t sometimes if gives me an f
• Date: 01/04/2009
• Tags:

BEEP BEEP* Get out of the way! omigosh sorry! i yelled . again again i spaced how many times will that happen today? oh well. i started out again
but something was wrong i alwys go down this allyway but its quiet to quiet. Hey good looken you lost? no. i awnserd and kept walking forwerd like nothing was wrong. your kinda cute dollface wana come to m apartment?
no way freakshow i yelled. i ran to get away but he alreeady had me on the ground. i won't say what he did but i will tell you this he was bad at it. i blacked out.
i awoke in a stange place not a hospital not a house or an allyway but in a room a small room. i heard someone comin so i pretended like i was sleepng. i heard some one wisper to someone else. what are we going to do with her? ya what? well i took the guy out now what? i don't know im so tottaly bad at this stuff. were you ever any good? hey be nice dude
. So aperently it was 2 or more guys. well now what? i thought are they going to kill me? or let me go? who are they any way? Um miss you awake yet? ... should i anwser that? she s awake . how can you..... oh right thats how...
hey miss were not ana hurt you..
i opned my eyes. how am i saposed to know that?
sorry if these to nuckle heads scarred you.im max ant they are greg and sam.
Max was how you say .... HOT!!!!!!! and greg was tall and muscular with red hair and sam had blue eys and was short and skinnie while max.... had brown hair was mediem hight and smeald like roses and had cristl clear blue eyes wow i welcome you my heros!!!! ...........to be continued

Comments

[Destotim]

Thank you for rating! please comment and read

[Pandora89]

At the end you did a good job describing the two last characters. Its a good story I like it, all it needs is description, and to seperate all the speakers. It got confusing at one point with who was speaking and who was thinking. I always read more chapter books to see how the author seperated all his details and characters. I learned from that. Maybe you should try that. It helped me a lot.

[Destotim]

Thanks 4 the coment your the first one in monthes

[shiloh-oneechan]

hi! if you put the what people are saying in quotes that will help the reader and make it easier to read
it's a good piece!

[Destotim]

Hey people don't just rate it pease coment on whaf you think tell me if i can inprove