• I try not to hold them in. But when I am alone I tend to cry because no one can hear me cry. It hurts to cry because what I want I can never have. I lost a mother and the greatest person in my life. He was mine for a year and almost 8 months. I don't know what I would do without him. And as for my mom. I lost her when I was 12. And its something I will never get over. She is looking down at me from heaven. But I want her here. But she will never be here. I wont have a mom a grandmal a friend. I just wont see her ever. I miss her so much. That one hole in my heart can't be filled up. Because thats hole is for my mom. And as for the loved one. I want him I love him so much. I have fough my hardest to be with him. I want to be with him I want to be his forever and always. I know he loves me to death and I love him death. At the same time I want him to be happy. But I also want to be happy but it looks like I wont ever be happy until I am in his arms. I know what I want and what I want is him and no one else. I just want him.