• I'm looking over my shoulder
    and I'm scared shitless
    I'm worrying 'bout you all the time
    do I have a right to be?
    I don't get to see you all the time anymore
    so I can't be sure I have your back.
    I'd take a bullet for you in a heartbeat
    but what happens if I'm not there to take it?
    You gotta let me in
    You gotta clue me in
    to what's goin' on in your life
    to where you're goin' and who you're with.
    I'm not your mom
    I'm not trying to be
    Can't a woman be scared
    for the love of her life anymore?
    When can a tear be just a tear?
    When can a scream be just a scream?
    If a bullet is always a bullet,
    why does everything else have to have hidden meaning?
    I'm freaking out
    and goin' out of my mind.
    I can't see you anymore
    and it's like I've gone blind.
    I'm forgetting things,
    I'm not paying attention.
    Fallin' asleep standin' up
    cuz at night I only see your face.
    But it's not your face
    it's not even your body,
    because it's covered in red
    from a hole in your chest
    and it's all so real
    too real for me to except
    that your body is cold as ice
    and your heart stopped beating.
    Or did it really stop?
    I'm still here
    I'm calling out to you,
    why won't you reply?
    why won't you call back?
    why won't you let me know you're OK?
    why am I spinning out of control
    if this is all just a dream?
    But is it a dream?
    Or is it a vision?
    A premonition of something that might happen
    because you went against fate?
    I don't want that to happen,
    I'd die if that happened.
    I wouldn't be able to live if this was happening.
    I'm not strong enough
    no matter how bad a** you made me,
    no matter how long you protected me
    you wouldn't be able to make that better.
    You wouldn't be able to tell me
    that you're just going to sleep for awhile
    and that you'll be back
    and that you'll see me again
    when you're heart is beating so fast,
    and you're struggling to breathe,
    and you're body is like something from the mourge
    and you're bleeding all over me.
    I wouldn't believe it
    no matter how hard you would tell me to
    and I would find him
    and beg him to kill me too.
    I can't live without you,
    I'm barely hanging on now.
    Why can't you see that?
    Why can't you see this?
    Why can't you see me?
    I'm lost without you,
    I'm drowning without you,
    I'm dead without you,
    I don't care how much you've changed,
    or who you're with
    or who you will be with.
    You're still the same
    you're still my first
    you're still my love
    you're still my life.
    Please don't go...
    Please don't die....