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My voice cries out...
A strangled scream
"Where has he gone
Where is my angel?"
Where is the light that leads the way?
Where is the boy, who knew true love?
Surely he has not forgotten?
Forgotten his promise...
Where did he go?
A place I cannot reach?
A place of impossibility?
Hah...
Of course.
You must ask
Who was that light?
Just who was this mysterious boy?
He was for whom I blossomed
He was my caretaker
And I,
his rose,
waiting to bloom
However.
I was not the only one.
We grew.
Together.
We lived.
Laughed.
Cried.
Together.
He saved me
He healed me
He loved me
Until,
One day
He vanished...
And on that day,
My heart stopped.
My mind closed.
My voice...disappeared...
I...had failed...
...I had lost the one I loved the most...
A flame, snuffed out
A life, viciously cut short,
A soul, taken far too young.
My eyes became clouded
My world became dim
I mourned.
Night upon night
Until my throat grew hoarse
Until my eyes were empty of tears
Until I drowned myself in sorrow
Storms assaulted my senses
I was numb.
Cold to the core.
Frozen to the bone
I am,
Nothing more.
Than a dismal failure
I gave all my love.
All of my life,
But was it enough,
enough to keep you alive?
No.
It was not.
You once said
That life was precious
Though unjust,
It was beautiful.
The why, pretell,
Did this beautiful life desert us?
Why did it abandon our love?
Come back.
Wake up.
Answer me!
But you can't,
Can you?
You can never answer me...
You can't ever again.
And I can no longer hear your voice.
I can no longer feel your warmth.
I am left here.
Alone.
To face the ones I couldn't before.
To face the demons you held off.
What am I to do without you?
What am I to say?
Who am I to turn to?
Where am I to go?
You may think me cruel.
But,
It makes me laugh.
How ironic, that you,
My savior, my knight in shining armor,
Who helped me through all the sadness and despair
Left me with all the burden to bear?
You who fought my battles.
You who was always there.
Left me, with the biggest battle of all.
And this is as the saying goes.
The ones you love,
Will hurt you the most.
But was it truly you,
who hurt me?
Or was it the Fates,
that snatched you away?
I must admit.
It is my fault
It is my own doing that you are not here.
I saw the signs
And I let you die.
I let the one I truly loved,
Slip through my fingers
How could I be so blind?
Why could I not tell?
So simple were the symptoms
The ones Death bring.
What seems to be a sore muscle
Could be so much more
So much more complicated
That of an old pillow
Or a bad night's rest
And what's more amusing,
than a child dying
What, I ask, is more amusing,
than seeing a parent have to bury their child?
It is, after all, quite amusing.
Amusing as it is.
I am reminded.
Reminded that I took you for granted
And though you left many promises unfufilled,
I have committed a greater crime.
I took you for granted.
I believed it could never happen.
One never expects someone to die so young.
And I believed that we were...
Different.
That our love could prevail over all.
That our love...was special.
But it seems that Death is unkind.
For it will take any and all...
I just believed...it would wait.
For us.
Through it all,
I wallowed in my misery.
Remembering your virtues
Wondering if I would become something...
Something you would be proud of...
And I remember.
You were so strong.
So intelligent.
So gifted.
And yet,
This was something so simple,
So minute,
And it brought you down.
Like a gun to the head
Like a knife in the heart.
I would gladly trade it all
My life
My dreams
My ambitions.
I would trade the sun, moon, starts and earth
Just to have you back
Just to have you with...me.
And you ask,
"who is this boy?"
This boy was an angel on earth.
A human Adonis,
With the clearest of azure eyes.
Deeper than the oceans,
And a heart more vast.
He never left one in need,
No matter what the cost.
He sacrificed himself,
Always for the sake of others.
This was one who was selfless
As if he knew exactly what would happen
And as I write this
It dawns on me.
That he may have known,
He may have known that he was would leave.
And it makes sense.
As to why he made things so great
As to why he chose
Me.
It makes sense as to why he was so giving,
So selfless.
So...
Perfect.
As I see the faces in the crowd,
I ask but one simple thing
I ask that you cherish love
I ask that you remember life is finite
I ask that you always are grateful for love
The love that was taken...from me.
Now I stand before you all.
And all I can hope is that him and I,
Will one day be together.
That we will one day have each other in our arms.
That one day, we will finally be able to embrace our love.
![](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/arena-images/ic_paper_corner_32x32.gif)
- Title: The One I Lost
- Artist: Faelren
- Description: A poem I wrote about my late boyfriend.
- Date: 12/01/2008
- Tags: lost death
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Comments (3 Comments)
- ilyix - 12/26/2008
- So deep and raw. I'm afraid I can't find the right words to give you credit, so I'll have to settle for a rating of 5/5. And note: I don't give those out often. wink
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- Yan-s Mathew - 12/02/2008
-
T.T ....it touches my feelins....
5/5 - Report As Spam
- Laura_3226 - 12/01/2008
- wow thats amazing..
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