Society

• Artist: Cottoncandyocbra3
• Description: An angry attack on society.
• Date: 12/12/2008
• Tags: society

Knee deep in mental necrophilia,
Lays waste to the "oh so holy" communion
An unwanted dream in the eccentric dystopia
Always controlling the neural reunion

Locked away are the secrets of life
by the mind's deluded skeleton key
extracted with the governmental surgeon's knife
Will these puppets ever be free?

They follow the heartbeat of a hive mind hells-pawn
Asking for naught but their leader's whim
Their happiness had been trampled upon
Perhaps it never occurred to them?

Committing free will suicide en masse
The saved ones are the few
Thinking "everything was better in the past"
Even though that was never really true.

Comments

[SirynECrow]

I attempted to write an attack on society. The key word being "attempted," ugh...it was an epic fail. This however is not.

[whitejade13]

oh very good! I agree with masaya99. pictures just popped up in my head when i read this. 5/5

[iiReina]

all these verses draw pictures in my head. random pictures, but good ones, at the least, they compliment this poem. 5/5

[denden456]

I really liked it... nice one, alitare! Keep up the good work! biggrin

[Bleuraven123]

hey--this is whatcha call 'art' girl!!
those rhymes are perfect and it REALLY makes sense! biggrin

[Babybanana1901]

and you say jojo binks is unepressive psssshhhhh 1/5

[Agrikar the Hidden]

Very much so sophisticated, and thus, it gains my respect. However, in doing so you must always be weary, because the longer, more complex words make it exponentially harder to keep rhythm with the other lines in it's stanza. For instance, Stanza two, Line Three. However, doing it at the beginning actually worked pretty well, I think. (Stanza Three, Line One). 4/5, I like smile