Alone

• Artist: satans_sister2
• Description: Something i wrote in 10 minutes so it's not good. just thoughts and feelings that i wish were gone or better yet, never here....
• Date: 12/12/2008
• Tags: alone

As she sits alone in the dark
Thoughts rage through her head
As tears start to fall from her eyes
She sees the shimmer of the knife
Her eyes resemble the dark night sky
Empty and silent

She watches her friends fade
She is alone
Her safe place becomes a battle field
She is alone
Her feelings die
She is alone

She cries every day
No one knows
She can’t fight anymore
She feels so weak
She cradles the knife
Then falls to the floor
Her thoughts begin to fade
Never again will she rise

Comments

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

Not bad. I feel you need to work on the imagery for this poem. 3/5.

[mizoryluvsme]

Lovly 2, if you need anyone I"m here...

[Procer Nex]

I really enjoy the usage of emotion here, perhaps if you placed a little more thought into it, it would flow better. It was still an excellent read.