Paranoia

• Artist: Cottoncandyocbra3
• Description: Another dark piece. I will probably post more upbeat material, tomorrow, so I don't look like some suicidal neo-goth.
• Date: 12/14/2008
• Tags: paranoiafeardeathtrepidation

Ahhhhhhhh!

Silent screams rip my spine with trepidation,
fueling my own spiritual cremation,
Dying slowly at the end of lies,
No one is around to hear my cries,

Sweat drops falling from a heated brow,
worrying over why, or how,
every second that passes, kills concentration
adds another mental laceration,

Logical thought is forgotten soon,
heart sings with a melancholy tune,
emotions run the body whole,
Ideas spanning, black as coal,

Conjures demons, thought were here,
just illusions sparking from my fear,
Sad blasphemy of highest toll,
tears apart my bleeding soul...

Ahhhhhhhh!

Comments

[angel of fortune]

Lol. Very "neo-goth' -ish, 5/5

[Marionette_Mentation]

very intense. i felt like i was running away from something... ^.^ amazing.

[Rainbow cat FACE]

i liked it, but the ahhhh!s at the beginning and end made me giggle.
they just make it sound silly to me.
other than that, i love the word choice. and the rhyming is really good too, unlike most people who attempt it. 5/5

[I lurv pi]

wow....
I feel like i am in the presence of the next Edgar Allan Poe!!!
I got wrapped in it so quickly, and I found myself lost in its beauty!
Very nicely done!!!

[SirynECrow]

Overall, well done, but I find the 2nd and 4th stanzas a little awkward and halting.

[whitejade13]

I could sit here and tell you that it's a dark poem, that it's really very sad and depressing, that it's "gloomy" but why? You obviously already know!This just ocured to me that if I think it's very sad, then you probably meant it to be so it would obviously be quite pointlessto tell you what so many have already told you. It's a great poem, you're a beautiful writer and who cares what other people think of you? And of course i give you a 5/5

[iiReina]

this is another dark poem!! but im really liking your writing~ c[: