• And sometimes there are days where I wish I could fly.
    The upsetting part is not the deep yearning,
    the ache that comes from the bottom of your soul to soar through the air without a single tie to anything.
    Wanting something isn't sad.
    Neither is stopping to think about what you want,
    retreating into your own mind for a little fantasy or day dream.
    The exhilarating feel of wind whipping through your hair,
    floating weightless across air currents that carry you in any direction on a whim,
    and the freedom to move in a boundless,
    borderless environment subject to nothing but the sun and miles and miles of deep blue sky.

    The heartbreak comes from knowledge,
    knowing that you can never, ever fly.
    Knowing that you romanticized it to the point of abstraction,
    that your notion of flight doesn't include dust and sunlight in your eyes,
    or the amount of physical effort and muscle it would take to propel yourself,
    and regardless of how far you fly or how much you fly,
    you could never be truly free because you would still have to land.
    Gravity reminds you your troubles are still on the ground.
    No, the most heartbreaking part is,
    when you're thinking about how incredible your romantic notions might be,
    that second afterwards where you realize it's an irrational impossibility and this is not something ever meant for you.
    The moment you realize you yearn for something you can never have.

    I should never have gotten my hopes up.
    I so rarely do because I know better than to fall into that trap.
    If you expect something, you're bound to be let down,
    but if you expect nothing,
    or worse than nothing,
    you cannot be hurt or disappointed.
    I'm not the kind of person where things "work out for me," or things "go as planned."
    I can understand that, and I can even accept that,
    it's just the way of the universe.
    Sadly, no matter how hard I try,
    no matter what I tell myself or how I keep myself occupied,
    there will always be a day where I look out the window and wish,
    truly wish.
    Just... wish.