The Unknown

• Artist: xDemonxOfxDeathx
• Description: I wrote the poem and I wanted to see what people thought of it. It was written in about a minute so I'm not sure if it's really good or not. Please comment and tell me if I am any good at writing poems or not.
  I am also planning to use it in a book so please say if it would be strong enough to use in a book. Thanks.
• Date: 02/05/2009
• Tags: unknown

Drifting without a sound
It moves above you
Below you
Around you
And through you.

It takes hold of your mind
And never lets go.
Soon, it is in your heart
In your thoughts
And in your soul.

You cannot blink
And yet your eyes open and close.
You cannot breathe
Yet you inhale and exhale.
You cannot think
Yet thoughts run in and out of your mind.
You cannot die
Yet you feel the sweet embrace of the life beyond this one.

You struggle and fight
But it holds on.
Th fight leaves you
And you lie and wait.

You are waiting for the one.
The one who swore that you would live.
The one who promised to hold you
Protect you
Keep you safe forever.

But that person never shows up.
And you are lost.
Lost forever
And ever
And ever.

Comments

[kaay2013]

no.. just no.. no *shakes head* no. bye.

[The Auric Healer]

This would be abselutly(sp?) perfect in a book. Proberly in the beginning, making the reader wonder if you are quite sane. A neat poem.(Though, it's totally up to you where to place it...)
May the light woke over you.

Hmmm, as a sidenote, if you wrote something like THAT in a minute...
Imagine what you can pull out in an hour?? X3

[misseleganceP]

beautiful poem......do add it in ure book.....5/5

[Renata Of the Volturi]

I love this poem definatley use it in a book

[PeachPride21]

I say yes, despite the time it took to write it, it is a very good poem. I say use it in the book, it is definately strong enough