• Like so many times before
    A few sentences
    one that slipped out
    just slipped out.
    It wasnt anyone's fault
    just something that was overheard
    and shouldn't have been said
    it wasnt meant for my ears
    but they got hold of it anyway
    they realised their mistake
    the look on their face
    told me it was true
    all true
    or atleast they thought it was.
    The world went hazy and black.
    this was so different to all the times before.
    already in two,
    each half exploded
    a jackhammer attacking my chest
    from the inside
    My mind was under
    so much damn stress
    i forgot.
    a few blissfull minutes
    as i ran
    leaving a trail
    of burning tears in my wake.
    not knowing where i was going
    but at the same i did.
    a place i had gone
    so many times before
    but hadnt for so long.
    I just needed to tell her
    tell her everything
    she would do
    like she always did
    look at me
    with eyes that knew me
    better than i knew myself
    and her warm arms
    smelling of rose perfume
    would create a wall
    encircling my body
    surrounding my heart
    deflecting the pain
    the walls of a castle
    defending from the assualt
    And we would sit
    in my little room
    on my little bed
    she would listen
    i would cry.
    And my heart would slowly heal.

    So close, and there it was
    the house
    but something looked wrong
    different from the memories
    everything was darker
    like watching through a film of grey.
    But it couldnt stop me now.
    i barged in, the sky behind me
    turning the shattered glass of the old windows
    a brilliant pink, of the setting sun.
    I charged through the dusty kitchen.
    It all still looked wrong.
    Why?
    And my room.
    finally, my little room
    and my little bed.
    too little for a girl of my age.
    I sat, and curled up in a ball,
    on the bed seat in my window
    still open, so i could almost fall through.
    the pink reflecting through the teary
    water in my eyes
    turning the world pink and orange.

    I waited.
    she would come soon.
    she always had.
    she always would.
    she had too,
    it was her job.
    The shattered glass of my window
    was what reminded me.
    The dynamite exploded through my chest,
    the shrapnel shattering through my body
    shrapnel of my heart.
    I sat up.

    And as the sky turned a dull orange
    and the city lights
    flickered into existance
    all seeming so far away.
    as i remembered.

    The tears slowed.
    But i sobbed in unbearable pain
    as my mother's chilling ghostly arms
    wrapped around me

    and as her voice sung me a lullaby on the wind, she forced the pain and cold back into my heart.