• im so lost
    lost without a guidence of life.
    lost like a small child lost at the mall.
    alone and scared
    and yet i keep walking
    finding the light i have always dreamt of.

    so then i found you.
    you were like a roadside distraction.
    i just had to stop and look.

    so amazing.
    perfect . smart. sweet.
    i was afraid to touch. to interact.
    since i was known to destroy your kind.

    i tell myself not to do it.
    but i do it anyways.
    i dare to touch an innocent life.

    i decided to give it a try.
    and i felt such amazing rush go through my body.
    a kind of rush you cant descrive

    after days you were my drug.
    i couldnt have enough.
    i became attached.
    and like an alchoholic
    i wanted more.

    before i knew it once again
    i was destroying an innocent life.
    but i was to late to realize it.

    now i find myself realizing.
    everything that happend.
    who.what.when.where.why.and how.
    all these questions still left unanswered.

    everyday i see that life
    walking by me.
    and everytime it asks me if im okay with everything
    i lie
    cause everything is not okay.

    i wish i could just go back in time.
    and stop myself.
    but i kno i cant.
    because this world was meant to go forward.

    everytime i see that life smile.
    i smile back
    but turn away and watch tears fall.

    im not sad or mad.
    just lost.
    very lost.

    but one day i will find myself again.
    and one day i will have that chance.
    and one day i will learn not to destroy the innocent lives

    but for now.
    i must learn with wat i have.
    and i must wait untill its time.
    because im not ready for the big world yet.
    were hearts collied and love forever.
    no, im not ready