Overcome/Good-Bye

• Artist: Silvar_sigrund
• Description: wrote this as a result of me and who i thought was a good friend having a falling out. i did so much for her and she treated me like s**t in return and i just kept taking it, and the moment i said somthing honest that she didnt like she said "**** you get out of my life" so i wrote this while i was still very angery with her
• Date: 10/26/2009
• Tags: overcomegoodbye

Whenever I see you
My heart melts away
You still hold on
To my soft heart
I must do what it takes
To Overcome this pain
You did nothing for me
Except screw me over
Causing me lots of pain
Time and time again
Now I must get you out
Out of my broken heart
I will move on to others
Find myself better then you
As I watch your life
Become darker by the year
As you get bitten by karma
Always treated like s**t
Because you threw me away
The one who treats you right
Respects you as a person
Not like an object
Only used for one thing
Then thrown away for better
As they think nothing
About you as a person
Good-Bye for good
Have a Karma filled life

Comments

[Hihara_La Corda]

you cannot use the same word twice within 4 lines... Like heart. You've used heart and pain too many times as the end of a line. Also you can't have a couple of lines rhyming in random spots and then the rest not, visa versa, stuff like that doesn't let the poem flow. If you want to write things like this try writing a haiku or a petrarchan kind of sonnet.

[Polly Odd]

Not one of your best poems, but it's still filled with emotion.