• 1. The only thing that counts with is money,
    The only thing I'm counting on is cash.
    The happiest time of day is when I put my coins away,
    Lock 'em up, bolt the door and dream about my stash.

    2. As a philanthropic fellow I'm a failure.
    But as a miser I'm a smash.
    The only thing that counts for me is M-O-N-E-Y you see,
    The only thing I'm counting on is cash!

    3. The only that counts with him is money,
    The only thing he's counting on is gold.
    Nobody could exceed this individual for greed,
    Scrooge is cheap, what a creep! His heart is mean and cold.

    4. They tell you that you cannot buy contentment,
    But that philosophy is trash!
    The only thing that counts for him is M-O-N-E-Y you see,
    The only thing he's count---ing on is
    CASH! CASH! MONEY!