Broken Bridge

• Artist: Musique au Coeur
• Description: My first poem and I worked pretty hard on it and if you have any helpful tips please comment. I hope you like it.
• Date: 06/02/2010
• Tags: broken bridge

A Broken Bridge,
Down the Road,
How to cross,
No one knows,
This obstacle,
So large, so helpless

To think a way,
To get around,
This obstacle,
It will astound,
All who try will
Panic, resound
It is best
To just stand your ground

Comments

[Musique au Coeur]

thank you winta :3

[ayame monogatari]

Pretty good for the first time! I liked it but you can surely improve on your next poem! Looking forward for your next work! 5/5

[Musique au Coeur]

Thank you for the advice Speaker smile

[the speaker of truth]

while rhyme is all well and good, overuse of it makes the poem seem repetitive and boring.

for a first attempt, it's very good. keep working, try reading some of Taylor Mali's works (professional poet) and keep working! 5/5