• I love you. You are my escape-- I don't deserve you. I'm selfish. But I care too much to let you go. I keep myself happy. But what about you? If it's more painful for you, should I let this go? No. I won't. I miss you... I need you. You are my sanity. My serenity. One day with you could last an eternity. An eternity with you could never be enough. I would starve to death to be with you. But no. I miss you. I need you.
    What are you doing right this second? I wish you could see me sometimes. I just want to make you happy that I'm yours. Selfish Gratification? I can't tell. I'm sorry. I hope I make you happy. I love you. Really. You. Are my future. Sometimes I think I get too enveloped in being loved. I want to feel wanted. I want to be held. Taken care of. I am empty. Bland. Sad. I need a distraction. Where are you? You are my distraction. You are my light. My rock. I've lost my rock. I am lost. Come back...
    Everything i have with you, it has depth. I have doubts. You're inconsistent, hard to trust. You're hard to keep. You're so far... yet too close. Far too close. You're the closest thing to safe that I have. You save me from me. So come back. Please. You're so strong. We're so weak. You're my soulmate. My everything.
    How do you really feel? Is this artificial? All a pigment of my imagination just to push away the dark feelings? Are you what I use to keep sane? It can't be healthy. Picturing an impossible future with you. It hurts when you say I'm too hopeful. But you do it too. I know what I want from you. What do you want from me? Am I your escape? Or your life?
    Can I be your life from here? I'm determined. Is that enough? Is it possible? Can I pull this off? I'm so disoriented by my own thoughts. But I've never wanted anything more. Unhealthy, unfair. Life.
    This is the hardest thing I deal with. What does that mean? There is no bigger thing in life than love. So what am I? Strong? Or stupid?
    Pouring salt in my wounds... weak, because I need this.
    Alone inside.
    Empty.
    Bland.
    Sad.
    You erase it all.
    I need you. I love you.
    You are my goal in life.
    I know what i want my future to be.
    You.