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The slumbering bear
Persuaded by the springtime
Once more comes alive
- by adorable a s i a n |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 04/02/2012 |
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- Title: Hibernation
- Artist: adorable a s i a n
- Description: A haiku written for my English class. Constructive criticism wanted and welcomed!
- Date: 04/02/2012
- Tags: haiku bear springtime awakened
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Comments (1 Comments)
- Slinkenhofer - 12/12/2012
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Good concept, but haikus are a little harder to criticize due to their size. American haikus are especially difficult because most people don't know how to utilize ideograms in their poems.
If anything, I would say make this haiku a little more traditional by describing things with a very general view, then finding something very small and specific to focus on. It's that juxtaposition that makes haikus strike deep within you. - Report As Spam