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Chapter 1, part 2

The next day
Ginny: Happy Birthday Harry.
[Ginny is naked, in her bed with Harry]
Harry: Ginny, put some clothes on. You’ll get sick.
Ginny: But! Look at my boobs!
Harry: Yes, I see.
Ginny: Well?
Harry: …[gropes Ginny] They’re fake.
Ginny: Go to hell!
[Ron walks in]
Ron: Whoa! Harry, that’s my sister!
Harry: Hey, she came on to me.
Ron: Oh, yeah. Forgot that you’re gay.
[Hermione walks in]
Hermione: Happy Birthday Harry!
Ron: yeah, Happy Birthday.
Hermione: Nice boobs Ginny.
Ginny: Oh, thanks.
Ron: Open your presents!
Harry: ok.
[Harry opens presents. He got a CD player from Hermione, a Lincoln Park CD from Ron, a condom from Ginny, a Pokeball from Hagrid, and food from the Weaslys]
I don’t like Pokemon.
Ron: At least open the Pokeball.
Harry: Fine.
[Out come a Emo Pikachu]
Emo Pikachu: Nice to meet you Harry Potter!
Harry: oh, s**t.
Ron: Hey, it’s speaking English!
Emo Pikachu: yeah, shithead. We’re in England.
Ron: What? Oh, no you didn’t!
Emo Pikachu: ******** off!
[Emo Pikachu zaps Ron]
Harry: Well, Emo Pikachu’s cool. Emo Pikachu!
EP: What?
Harry: Cut me.
EP: ok!
[EP cuts Harry]
Harry: you pass. I’ll keep you.
Hedwig: Tweet?
Harry: Don’t worry, Hedwig. I still like you. You can fly. Emo Pikachu cant.
Hedwig: Tweet! ^_^
EP: Screw you Harry
[Just then, a ninja in an orange jumpsuit and yellow spiky hair appeared]
Ninja: Happy Birthday Harry! Believe it!
Harry: Who the hell are you?
Ninja: I’m Naruto, the most awesomeness ninja ever! Believe it!
Harry: Why are you here?
Naruto: to wish you a happy birthday, from Hagrid. Believe it!
Ron: wait, who trained you?
Naruto: Yeah! Remember? I had your back at the Ministry. Believe it!
Hermione: Why do you keep saying “believe it?”
Naruto: Because it’s cool! Believe it!
Harry: Wait. How did you get here?
Naruto: I flew. (-.- )believe it.
Hermione: Stop saying “believe it!” >o<
[a girl with long pink hair and wearing a red dress came in]
Girl: Naruto! We have to go!
[an emo boy comes]
Emo boy: yeah, Naruto, we gotta get going. The Third Hokage’s waiting for us.
Ron: who are you guys?
Girl: Sakura!
Emo boy: Sasuke. -_-
Naruto: Welp! We gotta get going! Believe it!
Ron: goddamit.
[then a hologram of an old guy appeared]
Old guy: Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura! Report back to Hogwarts at once!
S,N,S: yes, Dumbledore.
Harry: what? That guy looks to be the head of a ninja clan.
Sakura: well, that’s the Third Hokage. He’s now playing the role as Dumbledore.
Harry: Oh! Well, at least he’s better than last year’s Dumbledore. Mr. T as Dumbledore, what were they thinking?
Hermione: What’s with those headbands?
Naruto: well, the symbol is Hogwarts’ crest, seeing that our clan serves Hogwarts.
Hermione: But! Isn’t Hogwarts a school of witchcraft and wizardry?
Sasuke: Yeah… but because of new random threats, Dumbledore wants ninjas here.
Harry: Is that the plot threat?
Sasuke: Hell, no. we’re here to help you witches and wizards and you guys do the same to us ninjas from a new threat.
Ron: What threat?
Naruto: we…don’t know yet.
Ron: oh
S,N,S: well, we gotta get going! Bye!
Ron: well, that was weird.
Late August
Ron: wow…can you believe that school’ll start up so soon?
Harry: no
EP: do you want me to cut you?
Harry: nah, wait 5 minutes
Hermione: I wonder what this year’s plot would be.
Ron: [thinking] a love scene with me and Hermione?
Harry: [thinking] me getting a long knife?
Hermione: oh no! we need to buy our robes!
Ron: Do we have to?
Hermione: Yes, Ron
Ron: but I wanna walk around campus naked! Then it’ll be Harry Potter and the Naked People!
Harry: hell no
Hermione: well, let’s go robe shopping!
R&H: [groan]
at the tailors
Hermione: Oh, Ron! These new school uniforms are to die for!
[Hermione is pointing to the uniforms that looks a lot like the ones from Vampire Knight. The Hogwarts crest is on the tie and on the upper right chest.]
Harry: wow, cosplay
[Ron tries on his uniform]
Ron: I call Zero!
Hermione: I call Yuki!
Harry: I’m Kename.
Dumbledore: I call Headmaster Cross!
H,R,H: Dumbledore?!
Dumbledore: hi! I’m the Third Hokage that’ll be playing this year’s Dumbledore.
Harry: hey, I like this Dumbledore.
Hermione: Dumbledore, sir, I was wondering, do you know what this year’s plot is?
Dumbledore: well, all I know is that this year has to do with ninjas, a flamethrower, a hybrid plant, and a nude scene with Hagrid.
Ron: GAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! MY IMAGINATION!
[Ron craps himself]
Hermione: c’mon Ron. It’s not that bad.
Ron: oh yeah… image transport!
[Ron used a spell to transfer a image of Hagrid naked to Hermione’s head]
Hermione: EWW!
[Hermione vomits]
Dumbledore: siigh… and these are the main characters.
[Dumbledore clicks his heals 3 times]
I wish I was at Hogwarts, I wish I was at Hogwarts, I wish I was at Hogwarts.
[Dumbledore disappears]
Harry: that was weird.
Hermione: bleh, ok. Let’s get going.
Ron: why?
Hermione: we need to prepare for the next chapter, Ron.
Ron: and what’s in the next chapter?
Hermione: going back to Hogwarts!
R&Harry: yay Hogwarts!
Hermione: we’re such nerds.
Ron: yes we are!
Harry: snow cone!