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1st hour- I didn’t pay much attention to what was going on. The girl that sits next to me started saying inappropriate things. I pointed out that she didn’t say orgasm yet. She did latter though. I should have pointed out orgy too. I drew some more on the picture I started. Practiced guys a little more with my gaia mule. I think it turns out better if I draw it once with a reference for anatomy then go back and do it again.

2nd hour- I drew even more. I had nothing to do the teacher was stupid. She had us do a sketch thing on something that you pretty much just slap on. It’s what your putting with it that matters. You can’t really do much with where you’re going to put it.

3rd hour- Lisa took the pictures I placed out and showed them to the teacher. I didn’t want to interrupt her cleaning up. Oh well it’s for the best. I’m thankful. I will hope for the best in getting into the advanced art class. I didn’t work on what I should yet again. I will get it done I know it, maybe. They were adding yet another set of cabinets to hold paper. They couldn’t get it though the door. I said it would be easier to un-screw the other shelves then it would be to try and fit it though the door the way it is now. They had to in the end.

4th hour- I read all hour and though intervention. The Rules Of Survival is turning into a really wonderful book. It’s about the lives of abused children. Common topic in writing but this one makes you think more about your own actions in relation to others. Murdoch simple caring guy going about his life, he hooks up with a girl and meets her children. He means the world to them and he is just doing what he thinks is best. He has been a great person in there lives since the day they first saw him. He didn’t even think twice about them and yet he is a high person in there lives. Then there is Nikki crazy in all terms and a bad mother. I can relate to both in thinking about my self.

Launch- Crazy as ever but off to a rough start with so many people gone. Leave it to Rachel to turn things around. Not that much has changed. We made a list of body parts that will be lent out. I’ll have to get it and put it on here. I could never remember them all. I have right kidney and left leg. The leg is rapably soft. Yes that one is for you Rachel you will know what it means.

5th hour- I love how writing this is the only thing I do at this time. It’s like a second study hall but I’m failing because it’s me. It’s not like I’ve ever got any writing done in class unless I can really relate. What does it matter any way? If I was going to sell something it would be random s**t like this. People will buy it to if I add lots of pretty pictures. Oh wait I can draw can’t I? woot. Sarcasm *two thumbs up*

I’m still clinging to that “I’m going to make it” hope. I real do feel that way even with all my flaws. And why shouldn’t I? It’s not like I can’t be creative when needed. So many jobs are just that.

The person next to me is doing less writing for one piece then I am for this. How is it that I can do that for just the every day but not for a simple school writing class? Do I truly think that much about the day to day life?

That is truly laughable. I don’t put half of what I think out side of school. Maybe I should thank God for that.

Thinking back I was describing what it was like then and now. It hurts but I will say it any way, for it will be good to describe things after time has passed.

Over time I got to know Robert. I at launch with him, walked home with him, even spent a few hours over at his house now and then. Heck even on a half day I stayed over from 11:40 till 4:30 playing a game. I have said this before that he changed me a lot. I still am thinking about how. When someone like that leaves all at once lots of things could happen. For me it was like everyone was pushed back 20 feet. Then a darkness filled that gap and a weight fell on to me. The shock held me into place. Over time things got better. I got back to the way things where. I still haven’t said my peace. I am back with everyone but I can still feel a heat at my back and knowing the dark is still there.

Maybe that is for the best. It maybe what is making me keep up this writing every day. Again for that I am thankful.

I can tell a few changes now that I have stopped for a second to think. I’m willing to let go, I think I always have been but now I am more understanding about it. Then there is the fact I’m less willing to except annoying things that are not worth it. I’ll let it show and take it as you will.

Finally I want more then I have now.

Will that wish come true?

I haven't said one word on paper about my thoughts on what happened other then details about what happened on that day. The end of the year isa good, not wonderful, time to start. Maybe I can leave for my dads more light hearted if worse comes to worse.

6th hour- I get to run around finding electronics. Not that fun in the end but I wanted a picture of it so much. Two guys holding a speaker, bright orange extension cords, and a pencil sharpener.

7th hour- Lisa and I just talked.