Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Dear Ending-
The memories I have of my dreaded past only cause pain to my heart. They are the only things that keep me from losing all my sanity. I receive them over the years and I catalog them, then store them in a safe. I will never know when I will forget again, or become no longer needed. Some of them are only glimpses, while others can become years long.
There is one so close to the time of the disappearances, that it shocked me when I remembered.

Autumn leaves floated heavily to the ground, whilst I sat restlessly waiting. He should have been here thirty minutes ago! I waited patiently as the moments flew by; I didn’t have to wait long. He came within in seconds of me thinking that. His face was just how I remembered, smooth, paler then snow, deep emerald eyes, with the purple bruise like circles under his eyes. Yet no matter what, he looked absolutely perfect in every way, no matter how you look at him it looked like he was a sculpture. He smiled at me, which caused my heart to beat faster then any Man known speed. In a voice shaken from abnormal heartbeats I said a weak "Hey"! His mouth turned into an amused smile; He knew that I was never going to get used to his unnatural beauty…
His smile vanished within the seconds of it coming. "Beginning, you know we can not see each other any more…"
"You know I didn’t agree to that, I cant live without you and you know that. And don’t call me that Ending, you know I detest that name"
"Stop telling lies. Fine Ill call you "Kat"".
"Since when do I lie to you?"
"Never, but Kat, this is a life or death consequence…"
"You and I both know that’s a lie" my voice wavered slightly at the end.
"Kat… It’s the truth and you know it. If you keep seeing me in any way you'll…" his voice broke.
"If I keep seeing you, what?"
"If you keep seeing me… You will leave… And be reborn in a world of suffering, his voice was hard now.
"I can't let that happen to you."
"…Don’t leave…" my voice was merely a whisper.
"I have to, I can't risk your life for my love."
I just couldn’t bare the thought of never seeing him again… so I started yelling.
"RISK IT! I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO DESTROY MY LIFE! I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU! DON’T LEAVE!"
His eyes suddenly went soft with despair.
"Kat…" he whispered now, "Kat, I can't leave you…
But I will if it means it will save you."
With the last ounce of courage I had left I whisper this reply, it was nearly inaudible, "Don’t… don’t do this…"
It was not worth wasting those words for he had already disappeared.


I never learned what happened after that miserable day, but my guess is that whatever it was that He was talking about was what happened to me.
What a terrible ending to a life well lived. Ha! I doubt my life was well lived and who would call eternal suffering, plagues and killing a terrible fate? It's the best thing that ever happened to me in my opinion.