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2 1/2 years. That's how long it's been. And guess what? It's gotten worse. I didn't even think that was possible. Turns out I was wrong. Very wrong.

I had a job. Of course I didn't get to keep the money from it. All summer long I worked there, eight hours a day, five days a week. The money I got went to my mom, who then used it to pay for her rent, food, ect. My whole ******** summer went by. Now that school's about to start again I try talking to my friends. Guess what? They're all mad at me becuase we didn't hang out during the summer. well sorry, guys, i was busy trying to make money so i had a ******** place to sleep at my mom's. so now i'm going back to school with no friends. joy. hell maybe i never had any friends in the first place. probably didn't. my addiction isn't quite cured either. nope, i'm still the same.

oh, and get this: my mom came to me and my sister the other day. said she was kicking my sister out and if i didn't do what i told her she'd kick me out too. yeah. joy. now i DON'T have a ******** place to go. yeah, i'm still depressed. don't think i'll ever not be. i'm just kinda used to it now...

and you know what? perverted guys are stupid. in fact, they should all die and burn in hell. i hate thier guts and if i ever meet another one again i swear they will pay.

i'm so tired of this. i mean what happens when i'm not there to be the grown-up? what happens when i'm not there to settle the arguments, to pay for crap? who'll be there to calm her crying, to fight for her, keep the peace? who'll be there for her when everyone else dissapears.....

i'm going through the motions. not really thinking about what i'm doing, not enjoying it, like other people. i go through the motions of life. i get up in the morning. i work. i go to bed. i don't feel. and i just don't give a s**t anymore. hey anyone got a lite?