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I've been thinking again, and I’m scared again. I can't even turn off the light without it happening again. I don't want to sleep, and I can't tell any of them because then they worry and then I’m off again to see that doctor who only makes things feel worse. I'm scared again. I crave for certain things again; I’ve promised I wouldn't though, so I will not. But o how much I wish I could. I nearly jumped in front of a car today, but I was pulled to the side by a friend again...

I'm scared again, and I don't know what to do. Every time it goes out, the tears just seep through. The thoughts and the whispers, secrets and stairs. I'm scared again and I don't know what to do. I need a way to keep my mind busy; I don't want to think anymore. I can't turn back to what I did before, because I had promised him that I would do that no more. But I’m scared again and I don't know what to do. I wish I could do this, I really do...

Don't think it's for attention; don't think it's fueled by angst, or fake stories from different times and another place. I am scared again, and I want to ask for help. I cried it out and no one would come. I begged on my knees, huddled over on the floor, I begged and I begged but I heard nothing more. I'm scared again and I don't know what to do. I need a way to keep me from the noose. I need a way to stay calm and drug free...I need a way that can help me be me again without this me that frightens me so much.

I've been this way for years, but it all finally subsided. I don't know what happened, but I am scared again. I'm seeing things again, and I’m terrified. It feels like I’ve gone on a bad trip again, and I’m terrified. I need your help, someone help me, please help me, please. I'm scared again and I don't know what to do again...

Help me find that part of me again, because I am afraid and I can't do it anymore...I've said this before, o a thousand times before, but I am scared again, and I need you and nothing more. The skitsophrenia is getting to me again, and the hysteria is growing again. I see things and they move, I focus but they hurt. I see bugs on the ceiling, on my arms, on the rug. Every time you speak I see the walls shudder, the road turns to waves and my world turns to butter. My cat is the devil and it scares me, the dog sounds like a demon and it scares me, my mother, her face, it's covered with ashes and slips to the side, and I am scared again, because I can't even see my own eyes in this mirror with that face that is different that looks strait back at mine.

They're scaring me but I don't know what to do. I haven’t done anything in a good while, so I don't know how this came to be true. I'm scared again and I really need your help, because that's all I need, and I need it from no one else.