Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I can't handle this s**t.

Its too fast.

I can't wake up to reality this fast or I'll...
I don't know.


I'm going back to being scared to be alone.
One because I just get so lonely.
And two.

I know I'll do something ******** stupid.

As I always do.

******** you Sherry.

You ******** up my life.



My ******** up life. Got more ******** up because of you, little s**t.

Goddamn.

Ughhhhhhh I hate pitying myself.

But I think after more than a year of this s**t and I haven't had a bad break down since the day it happened.

I think I deserve a little pity.

Just a little.


Why are you when I need you most...?



I want someone to hold me.

Is that so bad?

I don't want to turn to vodka to make me feel better.

I don't want to be like that. ******** no.


It scares me that I was becoming like that.





Ugh.



I have problems.


And I'm just now facing them.





Fml.





I'm so bitter and cynical.



I hate it. But.


Its who I've become.




Because of little whore Sherry.




Trust me.


I used to be a lot different.




A lot.



A better person than I am now.


Its too much work being happy.

I hate being a little emo f*****t though.


I want to sleep.

Sleep all my problems away.

In my dreams there's no alcohol.
I still have a father.
I didn't want to runaway.
I didn't cut myself.
I didn't get addicted to cutting.



But best of all.

You're there in my dreams.
Telling me everything's fine.





When everything's really turning to s**t.