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I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the way that you move
I wish that every day
I could spend it with you
I miss the way that you breath in
And the touch of your skin
And if I had but one wish
It would be to begin

You are the sound of silence
You are the touch of alone
Without your voice beside me
I can never be home
So why the hell am I back here
Why are you just a dream
Why can’t I touch you
Why can’t I say what I mean

If there was ever an answer
If there ever was hope
Then you were the answer
To all the love that I hold
When we are together
My dreams go forever
Thinking of you and me
Out here in the sun

You sing the beat of heart
Your draw the breath in my lungs
You are my only hope
I am your only one
So never abandon
Don’t give up on me
And soon I will be there
Soon you will see
The way that I hug you
Is like nothing we’ve ever seen
This is a prophecy

You were meant
To be with me
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I wound up writing this poem above as I stood in my backyard and looked at the spot where my cat is going to be buried. I know that in my own way Gypsy, my five year old female cat, has always been something of a friend to me and that losing her will shred me to bits, but I think that its become something more than that. Just like the poem, I think it started to change toward the end of your life... With two thousand miles between me and my faithful mate, I think that Gypsy has become something of a replacement for me. She used to sleep right up on my bed and cuddle into what nook she could and she would sit with me and just do her own thing contented just because she was near me. She is everything I think a relationship involves put into place and packaged as my cute and cuddly little friend. And now I just fear that my perfect girl might not know just what she and I have become and I feel like this time spent knowing that my cat will die but not having the closure of the burial yet is much like the fear of our being too greatly different (my mate and I); It hurts for now, but soon the issue will be met and it will be resolved and we will move on with it. Because I know that my mate is kind and patient and that we will work everything out, but I just don't want to wait to have her with me. Nor do I want to linger on the inevitable death of my cat. So maybe this poem, the one I sang without thinking at the soon-to-be gravesite of my cat, is for her. And maybe its for my mate. Or maybe its for both since the joy my beloved cat brought had always been simply a small consolation for the joy that my lover has brought me... I just hope the hurt fades soon.
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When you are alone in this bitter world
And there is nothing left
Except the pain that comes with breathing
I will reach out to you
Just as I have in every happy day
I will wrap my hands around your frame
As I tear that sorrow from your chest
And give you my entire being as reward
You’ve waited so long already
Just a bit more and I will be yours.
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Take my heart, love
And throw away my shell
Living in this empty world
Its shown me life is Hell
So kill me on sight
Make me bleed until I die
Anything it takes so I do not live without you
Never again shall I live without your light
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