Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Funny how I told myself I would stop writing for the sad sad love stories in my head, and yet how I return to them everytime. Its like I just haven't ever seen anything work out so beautifully as I think my stories truly are and so I end up fighting back the paranoia that they are wrong. Like I know that the two things in my head are so well suited that it all seems to backfire in my gut and make me write these horrible tragedies while I await some sort of honest proof that I am wrong; As if the proof I have received somehow isn't enough. ~_~ I hate myself for thinking that there is still more to my perfect love story than compromise and joy, but I can't stop. And so I bring you my next cruddy poem. This time about the joy of a happy ending fighting back and trying to overcome the fear that this story may yet go bad.

Enjoy
-=====-=====-=====-=====-=====-=====-=====-=====-=====-=====-=====-

How can you love me
When I’m never there to love
What sort of game is this
Or am I simply not enough
Perhaps I think too much about this
But I am afraid you’ll leave
I am forever yours and you are my own desire
But still I fear that when I sleep
You will step into the world above me
And you will cast aside the cockroachs and fleas
All those things that were vile and made me look so grand will leave
And what will be left is this child in a flabby shell of flesh
A man who never grew up and who grew out too far
I am simply being real
If you should leave me in the rain
And I should wake to find that I am alone
I do not know whether it would be myself or those around me
But there would be a simple answer fueled by the pain I felt
I would turn it all in upon myself
And someone
Somewhere
Would have to feel this hurt which had pestered up
To form this great disease
I would have to steal as many hearts as my greedy jaws could hold
Because you are everything about me
And without you I am without a soul
So perfect songstress, no
I beg you please
Don’t turn and run away from us
Whatever there is left of my humanity and trust begs you not to go
And it begs me more that I should now be wrong
Even when you’ve proven so much that you will not run
Part of me fears on
And I pray that part is wrong
I love you forever on
And I pray my fears are wrong