Mood: Sad.
Song: If I fall; The White Tie Affair
And as quick as that he was gone.
Gone gone gone.
I was scared to ask after class.
But I got the call.
His kidneys were failing.
Nothing more we could do.
'Went to a better place'
The cliche thing to say.
I got his collar.
I haven't really let it out of my sight this whole night.
Well once.
But then I went back to my bed and got it.
It jingles.
It makes me think he's here.
I even start to look around for him.
But then it dawns on me - he's dead.
I've begun to bite my nails and skin again.
Its a bad habit.
That I can't seem to stop?
People continue to irritate me.
Especially ones that were my best friends so long ago.
Ones that I thought I had a connection with.
But they seem worthless to me now.
The bad thing is that...I can usually argue with myself and tell myself that I'm wrong about this?
But this time there is no fight.
I know they are dead weight.
I need to drop.
And I don't feel bad for thinking this.
They are my toys really.
It was fun while it lasted.
There's only really a few I'd stick my neck out for.
My shell cracked today.
Ha. Cracked?
******** man I bawled like a baby.
In front of the ******** school.
I clung to Beth like a little lost child.
I bet they talked about it after I left. Ha ha.
Cuz I'm usually such a happy kid, with a fierce temper.
Not today.
Not today.
What was worse was that I actually began to feel okay as the day progressed.
Yeah.
No.
Hurr.
It seems I can't keep up my happy shell.
I've barely even talked to anyone.
I left Connor a voice mail.
And then I answer the questions asked.
Then back to my sweet silence.
I like silence.
It lets me think.
Gives me space.
I've picked my favorites.
The ones I want to hold onto.
Connor - Brittney - Lisa - Kait.
That's about it.
Haha.
How silly I was to think I was connected to all those other people.
I've actually grown to kinda...Hate them.
Well. Hate isn't really the word.
More like
...
I am repulsed by them.
If that makes sense.
The tears come in waves.
Starts with the tearing up.
Then it just overflows.
Then I'll be fine.
Fine fine fine.
Then the wave hits again.
These people trying to support me are useless.
And I'm tired of pushing them.
My toys are becoming boring.
Fast.
Song: If I fall; The White Tie Affair
And as quick as that he was gone.
Gone gone gone.
I was scared to ask after class.
But I got the call.
His kidneys were failing.
Nothing more we could do.
'Went to a better place'
The cliche thing to say.
I got his collar.
I haven't really let it out of my sight this whole night.
Well once.
But then I went back to my bed and got it.
It jingles.
It makes me think he's here.
I even start to look around for him.
But then it dawns on me - he's dead.
I've begun to bite my nails and skin again.
Its a bad habit.
That I can't seem to stop?
People continue to irritate me.
Especially ones that were my best friends so long ago.
Ones that I thought I had a connection with.
But they seem worthless to me now.
The bad thing is that...I can usually argue with myself and tell myself that I'm wrong about this?
But this time there is no fight.
I know they are dead weight.
I need to drop.
And I don't feel bad for thinking this.
They are my toys really.
It was fun while it lasted.
There's only really a few I'd stick my neck out for.
My shell cracked today.
Ha. Cracked?
******** man I bawled like a baby.
In front of the ******** school.
I clung to Beth like a little lost child.
I bet they talked about it after I left. Ha ha.
Cuz I'm usually such a happy kid, with a fierce temper.
Not today.
Not today.
What was worse was that I actually began to feel okay as the day progressed.
Yeah.
No.
Hurr.
It seems I can't keep up my happy shell.
I've barely even talked to anyone.
I left Connor a voice mail.
And then I answer the questions asked.
Then back to my sweet silence.
I like silence.
It lets me think.
Gives me space.
I've picked my favorites.
The ones I want to hold onto.
Connor - Brittney - Lisa - Kait.
That's about it.
Haha.
How silly I was to think I was connected to all those other people.
I've actually grown to kinda...Hate them.
Well. Hate isn't really the word.
More like
...
I am repulsed by them.
If that makes sense.
The tears come in waves.
Starts with the tearing up.
Then it just overflows.
Then I'll be fine.
Fine fine fine.
Then the wave hits again.
These people trying to support me are useless.
And I'm tired of pushing them.
My toys are becoming boring.
Fast.
Community Member
ifffffffffffffffffffly. D:
//Embrace