Mood: Indifferent
Song: Tipsy; BrokeNCYDE
I've never experienced wanting something THIS bad.
Ever.
Deep breaths and grinding teeth.
Why do I need a drink so bad anyway?
I don't.
I just want it to have it.
The way it might burn as it goes down.
The way it mixes with the juiceee.
The way it makes everything feel all funky.
The way it makes me happier.
Fff its just.
The best. Holy crap.
It kinda scared me.
I've never fought that hard not to do something.
I almost broke down and got some.
Its only been a ******** week. I shouldn't want it baaaad.
The sensation of wanting it is coming back. So I should go to bed soon.
Sleep is my escape. >8l
And you.
Youyouyouyouyouyouyouyou.
I wanna talk to you.
you texted me but never replied dfsdfsd .THAT PISSED ME OFF
BTW.
/RAGERAGE. Getting me all pumped and then its like "olol nope"
Tease. ******** you.
I hate how I'm getting attached to you. Again.
Even though we like hardly ever talk.
I just. I just.
I just. I don't know.
I don't know what I want from you, honestly.
And that confuses me.
I generally know what I want.
And I get it.
But with you.
I have no clue what the ******** I want.
I want to be number one in your heart. I don't know if I do as a best friend. Or a girlfriend.
But what I do know is that I don't deserve that spot. (:
Not at all. Not even number two. Or three. Or even four.
No one's number one in my life anymore really.
You left a big gap to fill.
My expectations, much too high.
I don't think I'd be comfortable with you filling it again.
But I want you to. Which scares me.
I'm not falling apart.
Not like I usually do.
I'm falling within myself.
I'm cutting off my real connections with everyone.
Everyone.
I feel so far from everyone.
I don't even mean to.
I'm scared they'll leave.
And forget me.
They'll leave me behind. I'll fall short. Trip and fall.
Back into myself. Back into my shell.
Where its safe.
I'm still dependent on you.
Three years into me knowing you.
I still. Depend on you.
I hate it. I'm independent. I shouldn't need you.
But some days. Some days. I really do.
The ********.
I shouldn't even trust you with s**t.
You're just some random person I met online.
I don't know you.
I haven't really met you.
I can't see or touch you.
I depend on something behind a computer screen.
How dumb is that s**t?
Why do you even put up with me.
you don't know me.
you haven't met me.
You can't actually touch me either.
Then why does it feel as if I could trust you with my life?
Why?
Out of all the people I know, why in god's name, do I trust you most?
I have no good reason.
Rationality isn't really my thing though.
I want you to want me.
I want you to need me.
But I don't think you do.
And that hurts.
I don't think anyone really needs me.
Hmm.
I'm being retarded.
And over dramatic.
Shiiit. Bed time. ******** niggers.
Song: Tipsy; BrokeNCYDE
I've never experienced wanting something THIS bad.
Ever.
Deep breaths and grinding teeth.
Why do I need a drink so bad anyway?
I don't.
I just want it to have it.
The way it might burn as it goes down.
The way it mixes with the juiceee.
The way it makes everything feel all funky.
The way it makes me happier.
Fff its just.
The best. Holy crap.
It kinda scared me.
I've never fought that hard not to do something.
I almost broke down and got some.
Its only been a ******** week. I shouldn't want it baaaad.
The sensation of wanting it is coming back. So I should go to bed soon.
Sleep is my escape. >8l
And you.
Youyouyouyouyouyouyouyou.
I wanna talk to you.
you texted me but never replied dfsdfsd .THAT PISSED ME OFF
BTW.
/RAGERAGE. Getting me all pumped and then its like "olol nope"
Tease. ******** you.
I hate how I'm getting attached to you. Again.
Even though we like hardly ever talk.
I just. I just.
I just. I don't know.
I don't know what I want from you, honestly.
And that confuses me.
I generally know what I want.
And I get it.
But with you.
I have no clue what the ******** I want.
I want to be number one in your heart. I don't know if I do as a best friend. Or a girlfriend.
But what I do know is that I don't deserve that spot. (:
Not at all. Not even number two. Or three. Or even four.
No one's number one in my life anymore really.
You left a big gap to fill.
My expectations, much too high.
I don't think I'd be comfortable with you filling it again.
But I want you to. Which scares me.
I'm not falling apart.
Not like I usually do.
I'm falling within myself.
I'm cutting off my real connections with everyone.
Everyone.
I feel so far from everyone.
I don't even mean to.
I'm scared they'll leave.
And forget me.
They'll leave me behind. I'll fall short. Trip and fall.
Back into myself. Back into my shell.
Where its safe.
I'm still dependent on you.
Three years into me knowing you.
I still. Depend on you.
I hate it. I'm independent. I shouldn't need you.
But some days. Some days. I really do.
The ********.
I shouldn't even trust you with s**t.
You're just some random person I met online.
I don't know you.
I haven't really met you.
I can't see or touch you.
I depend on something behind a computer screen.
How dumb is that s**t?
Why do you even put up with me.
you don't know me.
you haven't met me.
You can't actually touch me either.
Then why does it feel as if I could trust you with my life?
Why?
Out of all the people I know, why in god's name, do I trust you most?
I have no good reason.
Rationality isn't really my thing though.
I want you to want me.
I want you to need me.
But I don't think you do.
And that hurts.
I don't think anyone really needs me.
Hmm.
I'm being retarded.
And over dramatic.
Shiiit. Bed time. ******** niggers.
