I don't hear it that much any more. Tensions have made things so difficult for normal life, but when have I fallen into that normal category? Good question.
I was looking through my journals, and so many are just confusing as heck. I sound like the world is moving at the speed of light and I'm just barely making it.
It's funny to look back on those things and think of how much I've changed.
I have a purpose. That's the biggest thing. I talked to friends about needing a purpose to get by in life and knew I didn't have one but now look at me! I look a it and laugh and think, 'All it took was the realization of what I love to do and forming it into an attainable goal'! Because I want to be a well known doctor, I want to do great things. Because of my want to make people happy, to cure the world, to help, I've been able to realize my goal to want to be a doctor. And with that as my goal, I'm eager more than ever to be that, and to reach that goal. I'm in better mood than then. I've lost friends and endured self pity, anger, upsetness, and all else but I've bore it all. I've made my way and found a way to make new friends. Sure it doesn't make the hole hurt any less but I think it's grown a little more numb. I just have to forget it's there and it'll stop hurting.
Life is good, life sucks, life changes. Theres nothing more to it. One just has to accept that nothing is forever as sad as that is, and just go with the flow.
I'm making my way into a new chapter of my life and I will do whatever it takes to fill that hole, and make my way for my goal.
Whatever it takes because it's my goal to make sure others are able to continue their goals in life, to make them smile when they thought they couldn't anymore, my goal is to use me for others sakes and I'm happy for that.
I've changed, I know but I think it's for the better in the end and I will make the best of it <3
Best love and wishes
Kira
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