Karate, Nov. 13th 2005
Karate about so much more then just the physical, unlike many sports. Rather, it's an entire way of life, a set of beliefs and morals that define you, along with the physical training to give you the endurance and discipline needed to stand up for those beliefs and values. Many things have influenced me in life, one of the greatest influences being Karate. The reason I first came to Karate is that, I was merely fulfilling my physical education class. Since I was home-schooled, I could either choose a sport or Karate. I found the idea of Karate's high physical standards appealing.
So, I was seeking physical mastery over my own body. The thing that changed the most as I continued to come, was my perception of Karate and how I dealt with it. I began to understand that martial arts was about more then just punching and kicking. It taught me how to seek all the aspects self perfection, not just the body. And as I trained, my mind became more disciplined, and my body more sure. I had started along the way of self perfection, training in the first step, self discipline. The benefits of Karate are easily apparent.
Physically, my balance, my reaction time, my stamina, have all improved considerably. My body is far more under my control now then when I began Karate, but my mind has also grown. As a martial artist, I notice things that escape many, and I constantly question everything around me. People's motives and actions are important to me because I must find the best way to live peacefully with them. Part of the philosophy of Karate is Michi, a way to live life. I realized, that I had to find a goal and always seek it. I saw the world as a path with a beginning and an end. All things, are merely obstacles or aids on this way of life. I learned to live always keeping the final destination in mind, so everything I did, was in relation to that final goal.
Another part of Karate's philosophy is In-Yo, the balance of opposites. So, even as I saw this path and goal, I also learned how to live in the moment, and let things pass as I should. To have a goal and work for it, but not to worry or wonder about things I could not control. I gained both more control over myself, and the realization that I had less control over the world. To be calm, and tense at the same time. Relaxed, but always ready.
The philosophies of Karate, influenced my life profoundly. Especially those in the creed, I found them applicable to many things in life. Once, I was in a debate, and I failed to convince anyone of my side of the issue. Two things came to mind, the theory, and philosophy of Karate do. The creed states that one never loses, so I had not lost, merely been moved to a different place. I looked at my argument, and changed a single detail, and I re-argued the point, successfully that time. The slight change of angle, the small effort, brought about the results which I desired. I continue to learn, and continue to seek my goal. Karate is one of those things that will aid me on my path in life. From it I hope to learn how to further walk the way of self perfection, to learn how to seek the truth, and to perfect the unity of mind, body, and spirit.
DO NOT READ, Dec 15 2005
Don't read this, I just cleaned the bathroom with some stuff and realized there was no ventilation, so while my mind is clearing from that... I am now officially... >.> Avoiding work. Been cleaning all day, my abuela (grandma for the non spanish speakers) is coming this evening. And she likes clean things so yeah, we've been having a lot of fun. I'm still wondering why we scrubbed the walls though.... Oh well. I felt like writing some random stuff... Eh, I think, our culture sucks.
<.<
I think I'll do a gripe session. Anyways, what kinda culture... ...kills their young... ...(as tom pointed out) Respect those without respect more then those with it... ...has the barbie as the national standard of beauty... ...allows ..$% U shirts at school but not crosses... ...has any radio stations with country music!... ...has no common courtesy... ...thinks 'rights' for minority groups means privileges.... ...says you're weird or gay if you're not sexually active... ...thinks that a highschooler's life consists of sports, and if not, it's not a life at all... ...doesn't know how to read past the 6th grade level... ...says they're the land of the free then'll throw you in prison if you walk around armed to the teeth ... ...thinks people who listen to metal are all evil... ...thinks blacks are stupid sports jocks... ...consorts with aliens at the white house... wait... ok, I've had enough complaining and should really go back to work. Those are some general annoyances I've run into recently.
<.<
And totally random, I love that shirt that has a smiling bunny and "I hate you"
How do you see yourself? Dec, 27, 2005
Eh, how do you you see yourself? I'm interested in quizzes and such, because I'm facinated by how other people see me. To use the japanese term, I'm interested in my minari, appearance to others. However I appear to others though, even if it influences how I see myself, isn't how I see me. So, I'm aware of what I am, despite any 'masks' I may wear, or social skins I may have. Inside I am the same thing from place to place, even though I may seem to change the person inside remains the same. And The same is true for all of us. We often judge others and the world around us by who we are.
So, if one percieves themselves as strong, others may appear weak. Which brings me to this, how do I see myself? When I think of myself, first word that comes to mind is proud. That has many many implications. I hate losing, showing weakness, I disdain those who I percieve as weak, dislike things that bring it out. I enjoy winning, always being the smartest or best, I often see myself as better then others. A good analogy for pride is a dress glove. Y'know how in times long gone, gentlemen would wear fancy gloves? Well, pride is that glove. It covers any blemishes the hand may have, and dislikes anything that may stain it. It hides the hand underneath, but doesn't change what it is, strong or weak, firm or trembling. Pride exists for a reason usually. A glove protects a hand, because there is something that to the owner is worth protecting. So what causes my pride...
I tend to think, people are similar to game characters in some ways. They all have a certain amount of 'points' that automatically go towards stats. However, in games, those are balanced, each character receives the same number of points. In life, some people maye receive 5 in strength, 5 in intelligence, ect ect, and another may receive 10 in all stats. Due to various factors, genes, gods will, w/e you want to say, I tend to think I was lucky in my point allotment. Mentally, I've recieved the mother's side of my family. All are academically excellent, so, smart. I inherited that, always been a straight A student, things come to me more easily, then they do to other people. I can grasp concepts that others stumble on. This naturally boosts my self confidance and pride. You're never wrong, others are oftentimes, so you must be better then them, right?
Well, along with inheriting intelligence, I also got a strong will. Stubborness, headstrong, tenacious, whatever you wish to calll it, I'm that. When I set my mind on something, I will get it, hell or high water. I also tend to miss many things that I could have learned, because I beleive I'm right. It's a strong sense of self, being willful. It's imposing yourself on the world. Combined with a keen intellect, you get pride, someone who's always right in his mind and smart enough to prove it. Another thing I'm proud of, at least slightly, is my physical shape. It's a natural tendancy in males, to boost their self confidance by telling themselves how strong they are, ect ect. Well, being a male, I have a bit of that too..
. I know though, that I can outrun the average person, I've been asked to join track and field several times. Since I'm tall, and again, determined, or stubborn, I'll run fast, and 'till I feel I've won. Well, I also run a mile, or sometimes two, daily, depending on how much time I have. And being in karate, especially having reached blackbelt level says something about my physical shape, my balance, my control, and to some extent, my strength. Now, remembering that I'm proud, some of this may not be as much as it seems, but it all contributes to my pride. I'm not all pride though. The high intelligence, always seeks to learn. I don't particularly like school, but I love learning, especially concepts, then finding ways to apply them to life. Philosophy is the most common, but any knowledge will do. Learn that people react in such and such a way to a certain action, and use it in common interactions, use it. Eh, being manipulative, playing mind games comes with it too. Since I'm proud, and smart, people are... eh, in a sense, objects to be manipulated for my own benifit. Yes, this may seem harsh, but it's true to some extent. And not just in me...
Well, the stubborn part of me always loves a challenge, something to push against, never to rest. So, to play mindgames, with someone smart, or to compete, in sparring, or even just hanging around friends, needs a challenge so pushes everything to it's limits. Learn as much as you can, always do perfect, kill yourself doing something, then do it again better. I enjoy verbal sparring, physical too. Conflict brings out things in people that aren't readily visible. And gives yourself a heightned awareness of those things. Always looking for something to fight against means living in conflict. Constantly proving yourself wrong so you'll know what's right, or just because you can. Clashing with other people, or if they're too easy, entire systems. Hence some of my 'punk' tendancies. I'll wear a shirt with a skull on it, just to fight the smart kid stereotype, to prove the teacher who thinks I'm a kid with an attitude that I know more then him. Fight it all, society, yourself, others...
But in pride is not strength, it's weakness of sorts. To be fully proud, it can't be just you that's impressed by yourself. So, with the pride, there's a need, to have others watch when I win, or approve of when I defy the authority. Or manipulate it. So I'm in a sense, a slave to others, because I need them to make me proud... It also leads to a lot of contradictions. I'm a quiet person, but if I desire the spotlight, I'll talk people's heads off to get that. I'm somber, but I'll make more jokes then anyone else if I percieve it need be. But self confidance, despite that, has always been very high for me. Even when things suck, it'll be ok in the end, I'll make it through.
That many times attracts people. If I'm never wrong, I hold myself like I've never lost, people think that I must be always right. And if you agree with me, then you'll be right too. So that means leadership, people following you. I'm not very tolerant of personal weakness, but only if people aren't willing to fix it. I don't mind someone stupid, who tries to become smarter. I dislike people who know they are stupid, but deny it, so they don't have to do anything about it. Or they just admit it and refuse to do anything. Those people, are the ones I disdain. I'll help people though, become better.
I'm actually attracted to those with problems sometimes, because they improve the most. Eh, and partially, because I rely on others confidance in me. And those who lean on me, mentally, emotionally, are confidant in me. Oh yeah, another thing about me... I have emotions, like everyone else, but may times, I can't feel them. Even their existance. So often, I never act on them. This gives me an impassiveness that disconcerts some people, and intrigues others. But the emotions I do feel, if signs of weakness, can't be shown. It's not acceptable.
Hence my lack of tears, or full laughter. I'm many times amused by things, but being amused means being influenced, controlled from the outside, by something other then yourself. Not a good thing in my mind, I hate being controlled, I'd much rather control. So I fight that by not being amused at all... Not the best reaction, but near instinctual. Hence me being considered a very serious person. Now, if you've actually read all that, and understood it, would you agree with the summary, that I'm a proud, intellectual, and weird teenager with a control complex?
If you give JC a cookie... Feb. 3, 2006
if you give Joseph a cookie...
...he'll probably eat it. Unless it's one of those dry storebought cookies, if it's one of those...
...then he needs milk. Preferebly, non-pasturized milk similar to that he picks up every thursday. It helps wash them down. It also contains calcium.... ...and calcium is good. Calcium is what made JC's bones grow big. That is why he is tall...
...Once JC thinks about calcium, he needs a mirror, to see how big he is. While he looks into the mirror, a strange creature stares back at him. JC is not suprised, he has seen this creature in the mirror many times...
...And then he realizes he needs to shave. He doesn't like shaving but feels he must do it. But once he gets the razor, he realizes, that if he does not shave for one day in his insignificant little life, nothing will change. Except his beard. But that's irrelavent, and in thinking of how insignificant he is...
...he needs a star chart. He looks at all the star patterns, and wonders, why the universe was created. And how. And what's out there. He also sees the smudges on his glasses...
...so he grabs his glasses cleaning thing. While holding them pensively, he realizes the many uses of a glasses cleaning spray. He then proceeds to run around spraying people in the eyes with it. He has fun. He makes the mistake of spraying a drunk police officer. and is shot...
...JC gets a dcotor, who patches up his kidney. The doctor assures JC that the kidney will be pokeable within days, it was only a light wound. JC still feels sad. JC gets better and goes home, feeling sad...
...His mommy realizes he is sad, and gives JC a cookie....
Changing the World, March 24, 2006
When the world is over, no one will remember us anyways. So why is it people think fame means something? Simple. Most people don't have a purpose. And they desperately want one, need one. Living life itself isn't enough, people need a reason to live. Why do you think movies many times have people who become heroes? Well, because people like that. If you ever saw troy, the point of the characters, is to be remembered forever.
We all know we're going to die. Deep inside, we know we're insignificant. So to hide that, we have illusions of grandeur. Not even large ones, just little things. To think that we actually made a difference. To give us a reason to live. I've noticed different people solve this differently.
Some, seemingly accept it. They say "We know we're insignificant, but if we do it, we affect the people around us". The entire ripple concept, as seen in Pochahontas. And if you've not seen that disney movie, I would suggest doing so, to pick out their own poorly formed belieifs and because it has a good song. I think. It's been a while. Anyways, these people still hope to change the world, just not directly.
Another group of people, I'll call the "normal". Why? Well because I associate normal with apathetic. I apologize to all you normal people, but you are. How to explain the presence of people who screw mustard jar lids on, and have no problem with it? They're people who don't have the motivation to do anything extrememly difficult in life. So they want to change the world, but don't care enough to.
A third group of people, actually do try to change the world directly. But for whatever reason, lack of ability to do so, bad circumstances, ect, they don't. You can see these people as part of tiny groups that aspire to change the world, and end up just falling apart. These are the college professors with foreward thinking ideas, that are never presented or used. They try and change the world, but they really are too insignifacant to do it.
There are also the people who think they've changed the world. But they haven't, not really. No more then the ripple people. These are the "famous". They have an odd illusion that they change things. A famous movie star will be remembered, but not for how he changed the world, but how he himself acted. And the rest of the "famous" won't be much more then names in a text file 100 years from now. Who'll remember the famous comedian who was on SNL last week? No one. But they think they're changing the world, they follow a dream that isn't true.
Finally, there are the very few who do change the world. They've realized to change things, you have to devote yourself, to become a fanatic. And you're not gonna change much. So they reach for the stars, but only the lowest ones. You see a few of them in business, where they've worked their lives away to create something that will change the world. And they did. Those people start revoulutions, and they realize they alone can't do everything. They use the ripple people, but it's their force, their vision that makes something occur.
Before we categorize everyone neatly into little slots though, there are a few exceptions to these generalizations. Well, a lot. Have you ever seen a child cry and comforted them? You just changed someone's day. And if you consider a person to be important, then you truely have changed the world. So we've all changed things around us in drastic ways. It all depends on what level of the world you look at. And before you go to change the world yourself, ask yourself something. Is what one child thinks, or what a nation thinks more important? If you have the answer to that, you're ready to make a difference. Go do it.
