Do you ever feel like you have to stand up so straight with your shoulders so wide that your chest feels like it's bursting at the seams, unable to contain or express you? With your spine so upright that it feels there's a small hook from heaven tugging at it? Like you're some massive eternal dam against a river, or a mountain with the wind and people blowing and scrabbling about you, of no consequence because you ~are~?
I have. Feet in the river despite the cold, feel the water flowing past. Stand on the sand dunes with no shirt, feel the wind rip and tear, howl past you and stay unmoving even as the ground you stand on wears away.
It's impossible to throw out your shoulders or chest anymore and you wonder why you're contained in such a vessel.
Also, the wind blows things into your eyes and messes with your hair, but you don't even care.
Not even.
It's not happiness or confidence or feeling alive. Not at all. It is simply being more.
Also. Damn the water is cold this time of year.
Contexi Community Member 
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