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Work, School, Sleep, Eat.
No real particular order I suppose.

I think just about everyone encounters that point in their life where they're all like 'Is this really it?'
Life just floats on by, mundanely.

I guess its up to us to make more of life than what is given.
We gotza put da partay in life.

That's really what I need to do haha.
Life is just so boring.
So I suppose my New Year's Resolution is going to be hanging out with people more.
Well I guess its not so much of a resolution as its what I need to do.
Before I go ******** nutzo.

Brittney's coming into town for the weekend, ******** yeah (:
I'll show her around town, though there's not much to do.
But honestly if you're with someone who means something to you, you don't really have to do anything super exciting.
I'd be fine if we just played video games and talked (like girliez like to do).

I got invited by Ryan to go to Japan with them.
DFDSFFFFF. I hope to GOD I can go.
I've wanted to go to Japan since I was like....7?
Its been a little wish of mine haha.

I'm still a little bothered by the fact of you know.
That one guy. ;l
But whatever, I should be used to it haha.
I mean its not driving me nuts haha.
Its just irritating!
I know, I know. I shouldn't even really care.
That's just it though, I care. A lot.
I think that's what hurt most.

Its like he doesn't bother thinking about how it'll effect someone else.
Maybe he does. Maybe he just didn't bother haha.
It just makes me feel like I wasted a lot of my time on him.
Well wasted isn't the correct word....More like...It was useless?
But I suppose a lot of life is just useless time spent doing useless things.
It...Just hurts.
Because I was like "oh its okay that we broke up, we're still going to be buddies."
Guess not!

But maybe he is dealing with something that I don't know about.
I just...Wish that I didn't have to doubt the years we had.
I don't want it to have been useless time.
A futile effort to connect to someone.
I don't want it to all have been fake.
I'm pretty sure it wasn't, but I still can't help but think that when I get no reassurance.

I'm a little jealous of Kait and Bri.
Because they're still going strong, but we just faded out.
I thought our friendship was like theirs.
Stuff comes and goes, I suppose.
You may come back, who's to say.

God knows I'll still be waiting for you.
It never seems like I am, but when you do come back its just like.
I dunno.

Keep on living life, making the best of it.
The decision is his to come back or not.
Not mine.
I just get to play the unconscious waiting game, apparently.