Yeah yeah I keep promising you a journal and I never produce one so here you go!
You were the one person I was waiting for to tell me happy birthday~
And all day I was just like "Ugh I just wanna talk to connor and not be so busy!"
Whenever you get all silent on the phone I feel like you're going to say something to me, but then you rethink it and just don't.
I wish you'd just tell me!
I think I know what you're going to say, but then again I'd hate to assume and be wrong.
You think it's a bad idea for us to date.
I could see it, since every time we get together something happens.
I suppose I just honestly want to tell you that I love you.
I'd rather do it in person though. Work up the courage to just say something to you face that you already know.
Just something about saying it to someone makes everything just seem so much more..I just feel like its something I need to do because telling you I love you means a lot to me.
I know people say words are just words, but that's something I don't just say to anyone.
It's special.
Because you're special to me.
So very special.
The butterflies you create in my tummy are insane ):
And the smiles you make me have <333
You're the one person I look forward to talking to, like...I wake up and I think "Oh I wonder what will happen today that I can tell Connor about!"
And you know what! I can be patient. Even if you don't want to date right now, I can wait.
Because what we have now is just as good for me - I don't really need the titles.
Honestly I wanna move down there to be closer to you.
I wish I could wake up every morning to your face.
I wish I could wake up every morning to Connur kisses.
I'm so happy for all of us.
For Kait and Luis.
For Lisa and Jake.
For me and you.
Though I am a little sad that nothing with ever be the same with Lisa. I dunno why reading her journal about that made me so upset. I should have realized that its ******** and there's no repairing that.
But its good enough to be on speaking terms with her.
Brittney and I are a little bit better now, I was rather upset with her a little while ago.
Death keeps haunting my brain.
I have no idea why it scares me to the point of tears, or why I've been thinking about it more and more.
You'd think I'd not think about it since it scares me so much.
But for the past week I just keep thinking "What happens when I die? What happens to me specifically - not my body."
That's what haunts me. I have no idea what happens to us.
Its such a scary thought...
On a lighter note...Is it cheesy I sometimes think about marrying him?
Ha it slipped out a couple weeks ago
"Gosh I should just be your wife!"
I totally didn't even mean to just...Well okay I did.
But I didn't think you'd put as much thought into it like you did...
Propose to you, huh? > >
Maybe. ;P
It'd have to be perfect, I'd have to create the perfect setting first.
Cuz that's what you deserve.
So cheesy just thinking about how happy I'd be if I got to come home everyday and see you, and get to kiss you, and hold you.
Geez I miss sleeping with you.
I miss laying my head on your chest and listening to your heart beat.
I can't wait to come down for your birthday.
It's going to be the BEST birthday you've ever had!
And you know what?
I know last time I came to visit that it was the best week of your life, but I think I can top it and make this week the best one :3
Challenge Accepted!
Okay now I'm going to go swallow sadness and finish watching Skins. Somehow.
You were the one person I was waiting for to tell me happy birthday~
And all day I was just like "Ugh I just wanna talk to connor and not be so busy!"
Whenever you get all silent on the phone I feel like you're going to say something to me, but then you rethink it and just don't.
I wish you'd just tell me!
I think I know what you're going to say, but then again I'd hate to assume and be wrong.
You think it's a bad idea for us to date.
I could see it, since every time we get together something happens.
I suppose I just honestly want to tell you that I love you.
I'd rather do it in person though. Work up the courage to just say something to you face that you already know.
Just something about saying it to someone makes everything just seem so much more..I just feel like its something I need to do because telling you I love you means a lot to me.
I know people say words are just words, but that's something I don't just say to anyone.
It's special.
Because you're special to me.
So very special.
The butterflies you create in my tummy are insane ):
And the smiles you make me have <333
You're the one person I look forward to talking to, like...I wake up and I think "Oh I wonder what will happen today that I can tell Connor about!"
And you know what! I can be patient. Even if you don't want to date right now, I can wait.
Because what we have now is just as good for me - I don't really need the titles.
Honestly I wanna move down there to be closer to you.
I wish I could wake up every morning to your face.
I wish I could wake up every morning to Connur kisses.
I'm so happy for all of us.
For Kait and Luis.
For Lisa and Jake.
For me and you.
Though I am a little sad that nothing with ever be the same with Lisa. I dunno why reading her journal about that made me so upset. I should have realized that its ******** and there's no repairing that.
But its good enough to be on speaking terms with her.
Brittney and I are a little bit better now, I was rather upset with her a little while ago.
Death keeps haunting my brain.
I have no idea why it scares me to the point of tears, or why I've been thinking about it more and more.
You'd think I'd not think about it since it scares me so much.
But for the past week I just keep thinking "What happens when I die? What happens to me specifically - not my body."
That's what haunts me. I have no idea what happens to us.
Its such a scary thought...
On a lighter note...Is it cheesy I sometimes think about marrying him?
Ha it slipped out a couple weeks ago
"Gosh I should just be your wife!"
I totally didn't even mean to just...Well okay I did.
But I didn't think you'd put as much thought into it like you did...
Propose to you, huh? > >
Maybe. ;P
It'd have to be perfect, I'd have to create the perfect setting first.
Cuz that's what you deserve.
So cheesy just thinking about how happy I'd be if I got to come home everyday and see you, and get to kiss you, and hold you.
Geez I miss sleeping with you.
I miss laying my head on your chest and listening to your heart beat.
I can't wait to come down for your birthday.
It's going to be the BEST birthday you've ever had!
And you know what?
I know last time I came to visit that it was the best week of your life, but I think I can top it and make this week the best one :3
Challenge Accepted!
Okay now I'm going to go swallow sadness and finish watching Skins. Somehow.
