Today was the funeral.
And I'm just so tired of people I don't know coming up to me and apologizing for my loss.
b***h I don't know you, and you clearly don't care that much or you'd have made a relationship earlier with me.
Just a bunch of fake condolences made out of respect.
Rather annoying.
I'm tired of people asking if I'm okay.
Super tired of people being at the house.
He wouldn't have wanted it that way, us just gathering around to tell sob stories.
He'd want us to get up and go do something, to "suck it up".
He was the strongest most charismatic man I knew.
And I think it's time I grew up a little and realized some s**t.
I want to follow in his footsteps and be something great and work.
I'm especially snappy today.
I don't mean to be, its just how it is.
I could go on bitching for hours about everyone that was there today, maybe that's my way of dealing with it.
I miss Connor.
I wish he was here.
I kinda wish he had called last night, who knows what he was up to.
I didn't tell him the funeral was today.
I feel so dumb and clingy with him sometimes.
Like good god Paige, the guy needs his space and his own time.
I just get worried.
I'm scared that I'll scare him off with how much I love him.
That he won't be able to handle the distance like last time.
I just don't want him to go anywhere...
It's not my fault I can't close the distance.. As much as I'd ******** love too I can't do that right now. Its not possible.
All I can do is ask for patience and sometimes that is a lot to ask for...
But I honestly do believe in us, I believe that we've over come some hard obstacles and that we can overcome even more in the future.
Without him my life is just...Grey.
Grey, mundane, cold.
I can't deal with that right now, so selfishly I'm clinging.
Well honestly I'm clingy all the time and I apologize for that.
You're probably going to read this and be like "Gosh Paigey is so silly."
I really only make these journals for you.
AS ALWAYS I'll just wait for you to come to me.
But sometimes I wonder if you want me to text you first, but I don't think you'd play that game lol.
Dunno tonight it just weird
My mind isn't really on track.
It keeps jumping from thought to thought.
You're all I really have in this crazy a** world, so I hope you don't mind my clingy thoughts.
Crazy how long I've known you!
I had a cousin in town and he was asking about you because my mom told him about "some boy she's infatuated with."
I like talking about you, haha.
And it's a little embarrassing to tell people we met on Gaia...xD;
But just remembering everything gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.
I'll probably talk your ear off whenever you call. If you do.
I hope you do ):
And I'm just so tired of people I don't know coming up to me and apologizing for my loss.
b***h I don't know you, and you clearly don't care that much or you'd have made a relationship earlier with me.
Just a bunch of fake condolences made out of respect.
Rather annoying.
I'm tired of people asking if I'm okay.
Super tired of people being at the house.
He wouldn't have wanted it that way, us just gathering around to tell sob stories.
He'd want us to get up and go do something, to "suck it up".
He was the strongest most charismatic man I knew.
And I think it's time I grew up a little and realized some s**t.
I want to follow in his footsteps and be something great and work.
I'm especially snappy today.
I don't mean to be, its just how it is.
I could go on bitching for hours about everyone that was there today, maybe that's my way of dealing with it.
I miss Connor.
I wish he was here.
I kinda wish he had called last night, who knows what he was up to.
I didn't tell him the funeral was today.
I feel so dumb and clingy with him sometimes.
Like good god Paige, the guy needs his space and his own time.
I just get worried.
I'm scared that I'll scare him off with how much I love him.
That he won't be able to handle the distance like last time.
I just don't want him to go anywhere...
It's not my fault I can't close the distance.. As much as I'd ******** love too I can't do that right now. Its not possible.
All I can do is ask for patience and sometimes that is a lot to ask for...
But I honestly do believe in us, I believe that we've over come some hard obstacles and that we can overcome even more in the future.
Without him my life is just...Grey.
Grey, mundane, cold.
I can't deal with that right now, so selfishly I'm clinging.
Well honestly I'm clingy all the time and I apologize for that.
You're probably going to read this and be like "Gosh Paigey is so silly."
I really only make these journals for you.
AS ALWAYS I'll just wait for you to come to me.
But sometimes I wonder if you want me to text you first, but I don't think you'd play that game lol.
Dunno tonight it just weird
My mind isn't really on track.
It keeps jumping from thought to thought.
You're all I really have in this crazy a** world, so I hope you don't mind my clingy thoughts.
Crazy how long I've known you!
I had a cousin in town and he was asking about you because my mom told him about "some boy she's infatuated with."
I like talking about you, haha.
And it's a little embarrassing to tell people we met on Gaia...xD;
But just remembering everything gives me a warm fuzzy feeling.
I'll probably talk your ear off whenever you call. If you do.
I hope you do ):
