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"If love was a choice, who would choose such an exquisite pain?"
-from "Anna and the King"
My friend recited this quote to me earlier, and it got me thinking. Love is a pain, but it is a wonderufl pain. Because to experience that pain, you also experience immense joy. But love usually seems to end in hurt, if it is not a true love.
I have loved three times now, twice that led to a relationship. The first time was my first love, but not a true love. When it ended, it was and is hard to get over. Because it was the first time i had ever experienced such an emotion, and the first time I had lost it. I love again now, and I am to be seperated from her soon...and yet my love is still given freely to her.
Ever notice how, something seems to come between a relationship and you break up? And then you try to make ammends, only to be laughed at and have more pain caused to your already grieving heart? Ever notice or experience that? I have, and it sucks. When you are in love, but it is not a True love, any obstacle that the relationship is faced with can break you up. But when it is a true love...you and your partner work even harder to overcome that obstacle, and it makes your relationship stronger. I loved someone, but we were never able to overcome the obstacles set before us. It sucked, because it ruined what could have been a beautiful relationship. Now, I am in love again. She and I have been able to overcome every obstacle we have been faced with, and still stay strong. Our love is as strong as and stronger than the day it began. In a short while, we will be parted, perhaps to never see each other again. It will be a tearful farewell, but we will survive it. In time, we may even forget about each other, and yet we are still in love. Because our love is so strong and so true, we are able to overcome even that obstacle. She will never laugh at me, nor I at her.
There was someone else once. I told him after breaking up with him, that I still love him. What did he do? He laughed. I had expected him to at least hear me out...but he didn't. I only told him half of what I wanted him to hear, and he laughed. I was not able to finish what I meant to, needed to, say, and it was something he ought to have heard. That, if nothing else, made me realize just how false he was to me. Just how false our love was. He should have been able to hear me out, and we should have been able to at least establish a friendship. But we were not. That was the first step in making me realize how much I despise the majority of the Human race.
People are cruel and heartless. They laugh when you cry, and shun you when you beg for attention. That's what leads to suicides and depression.
To have someone laugh at me when acceptance was needed was harsh. I know now that the love was never true. Strong, but not true.
 Beautiful.x.Nightmare · Sun Apr 30, 2006 @ 03:42am · 2 Comments |
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