Today was jsut a p[issy day altogether.
First period was a wreck due to Mrs. Ohara's inability to be teh slightest bit of a sympathetic homosapien. I got 15 laps. That's with walking the last 4 minutes. Deal with it woman. I'm not hyperventalating and passing out again. Cry about it. I'd like to see you run.
The night before I was jsut ready to smack Joe. It's like I just fell into a pit of misery for the past two weeks. I don't know what to do or what's wrong. Part of me says to move on. Part of me says that's I need ot tough it out and see what happens between us. I don't know. H'es says he's happy, but how does frowning all the time and spacing and using low voices represent happiness? I don't know. I just get so mad so quickly now. It doesn't take much anymore. It's like that chubby lauren girl spreading crap about me just because the guy she likes actually likes me. Eat it beyotch... I'm better. You lose. I guess I'm just overly pissed about everything right now. And Joe isn't helping much when he keeps pestering me about what's wrong and... trying to make thigns right when I'm actually just feeling worse and worse.
I want this relationship to work. I don't want anything like what happened with Chris. I just... I keep feeling like I'm constantly slipping. Even without caring for Chris anymore, I'm still slipping from Joe and I can jsut feel it. I don't want to, but then again, I do. I don't know.
No one else could be like Joe... but then again, I'd have less fighting probably and feel better... or would I? I couldn't be myself. I'd have to be all lady-like constantly... I don't think I could handle it. I can't handle anything.
I need my knife. This addiction has to stop.
 haloisbymyhorns · Thu Dec 14, 2006 @ 01:04am · 0 Comments |
